Today, as usual, I work nights and sleep during the day. I found out that my brother uses my car and never puts gas in it when he called me for the first time to actually ask me if he could borrow my car, and also to lend him $20 to put gas in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned home from a 2-day trip. Before I left, I told my brother to move my car across the street when the street cleaner passes by. Turns out, he used all my gas and got so wasted he forgot to move my car. I got a big ticket that he said he'd pay for. He's unemployed and lives off me. FML
Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML
Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Today, I let my imbecile of a brother borrow my car. The keys to his car are now jammed into the ignition of mine. FML
Today, I let my roommate borrow my car to go to the store. Later, I saw a picture on Facebook of my roommate and his buddies with my car saying, "Gone for the weekend!" I work at 8am tomorrow and he won't answer my calls. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML
Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML
Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML
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Top comments
weeping_willow 25
Did you not notice the decreasing amount of gas in your car? Your brother sounds like a mooch
randybryant799 21
I bet if you didn't leave your keys laying around he wouldn't be able to do that.
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Comments (3)
weeping_willow 25
Did you not notice the decreasing amount of gas in your car? Your brother sounds like a mooch
JasonThorn 23
Time to put the keys under your pillow and tell your brother to GTFO.
randybryant799 21
I bet if you didn't leave your keys laying around he wouldn't be able to do that.