Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML
Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
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Top comments
Eric77lv 2
Bottled water is even worse...
Kill_Kayt 5
Well they do put Fluoride in the water which is a neural toxin (IE kills brain cells). Why do you think toothpaste says if swallowed contact poison control?
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Comments (84)
jlperry31 10
I think we should do like the Chinese and limits these people who have countless kids and more often than night they can't afford to care for them properly. People can act like god doesn't like gays, but I believe god created gays for breeding control. Yes I know some gays have kids, but the majority don't. I don't EVER want a kid.
k80eh20s 1
There Is traces of birth control in tap water that's released in sewers through the urine of women who take birth control
tracker7 5
I'm sorry OP, but if your mom is that stupid I dont think that she should be having another child
Caitycandid 2
She's probably right about tap water lowering pregnancy rates. Lots of women simply flush their birth control down the drain when they no longer have use for it. That water eventually ends up back in the system.
purrfume 0
Um.... And we urinate.
Whachubbleisthis 4
There actually is estrogen in tap water, not added by the government but through agricultural fertilizer, hormones from our own bodies and some if it from birth control pills. In addition, everything that has been said here before about chlorine and fluoride is also true. So I would say it's not a bad idea to stay off the tap water. And if your mum can afford it, why shouldn't she have 5 children? I would say that's none if your business unless you have to look after them.
msl1333 4
Actually H5N1 is a strain of flu that we call bird flu. H1N1 is swine flu. Generically speaking, H#N# is a strain of influenza. I won't go into what the H and N mean but look it up if you're interested. We give them these fun animal names because that's where we discovered them an it's easier for the general public to understand. Their work was to learn how to combat highly virulent H5N1 because as you noted, the flu vaccine as it exists contains a cocktail of drugs to combat many strains of flu but not H5N1 so if there were an outbreak, we would be defenseless. That is why they got funding.
kemando 22
Bottled water is regulated soooooo much worse than tap, tap is government controlled where bottled is company regulated... For profit, yeah, think twice before drinking bottled water.
mrkelvin 2
Your ma may enter her menopause and starts to act abnormally. Be patient with her
polkadot3155 6
the only reason we drink bottled water is because we have well water that smells like rotten eggs.. yummy.
zebrapattern 6
hmm what a good idea...