Today, my cat got out. I was chasing him in the field behind my backyard, barefoot while wearing PJs, yelling my head off like a raving lunatic. The field soil was sludge, and my feet sunk right in with every step. After I got him, I heard a snap of a soda can. My neighbours were there the whole time, watching. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat escaped through my front door. It was dark out, so I had no idea where I was going. I finally caught up to him in my neighbour’s lawn and I gave him heck for scaring me. It took me a minute to realize I was actually talking to a bush in their flowerbed. FML
Today, my cat got outside and had the bright idea to walk in the middle of the road, right as a car was coming. The driver didn't notice him, so I had to sprint over there, leap into the road, and toss my cat to safety. He's fine, aside from being soaked (he landed in a puddle), but I've felt better. FML
Today, as I returned from work, a cat was meowing at me in a bush. I said hi to it and walked inside. Then I noticed one of my cats was nowhere to be found. After a bit of panicking, I finally figured out that cat in the bush was MY cat, and he was meowing because he was stuck. I don't know how he got outside. FML
Today, I walked out into my backyard. As I did so, my dogs ran past me, slamming the sliding door off its track. I went to catch it, and knocked the bird cage over. To complete the fumble, as I turned to catch the bird cage, I stepped in a dog turd. I wasn't wearing shoes. We're all okay, but… FML
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Are you sure they were just watching? You may be showing up on YouTube soon. Not gonna lie, but I'd be one of the millions to make that go viral.
Chazzster 32
If you have a cat, keep a can of tuna and an opener nearby. All you have to do is open the tuna and place it where the cat will see and smell it. They will come running. If you chase a cat it tends to get them excited and they just run. It’s far easier to entice a cat than to catch one by running after them.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Are you sure they were just watching? You may be showing up on YouTube soon. Not gonna lie, but I'd be one of the millions to make that go viral.
Chazzster 32
If you have a cat, keep a can of tuna and an opener nearby. All you have to do is open the tuna and place it where the cat will see and smell it. They will come running. If you chase a cat it tends to get them excited and they just run. It’s far easier to entice a cat than to catch one by running after them.
kitten79TX 5
Why chase a cat like a fool? they come home when they're hungry.