Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite having the choice of several bowls of clean water in the house, as well as puddles and ponds outside, my cat was drinking out of a pot I was soaking in the sink. She doesn’t seem to mind the taste of dish soap. FML
Today, my wife asked for water, complaining about being thirsty. I got off the couch, walked two rooms over, got a jug of water from the fridge, and came back. She spent the entire time ranting about how thirsty she was, and when I handed her the water, she set it down and continued to complain. FML
Today, I washed all the dishes that had been piling in the sink over the week, and set them in the drying rack before I left for school. I came home to see that my dad’s girlfriend had put them back into the sink, along with her dirty dishes. She told me to re-wash them. Why? “They didn’t smell clean.” FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, I watched as my girlfriend washed the last of the dishes with a dishcloth, then used that same dishcloth to wipe down the counters. I now understand why we always have bugs. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
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Top comments
xXSweetNightmare 0
I think it's time to do some dishes. Plain and simple.
Crlnprz 11
lazzy
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Comments (159)
Crlnprz 11
lazzy
Alexstraza_fml 5
Exactly; you have no right to complain if you aren't willing to change the problem yourself.
1215116a 14
I know! It's like saying 'I'm a lazy ass and have some many dishes piled up in my sink I can't fit a cup under it. FML.' No sympathy OP, YDI for laziness.
MrSassypants 34
1 I think it might be laziness too. It also might be a fight. OP-"Hey you're a woman why don't you do it." GF-"I'm not your maid." OP-"I wish." Sometimes it's like that... or it's just laziness 8)
JesseOhNine 0
maybe he is sexist and refuses to do the dishes cause he thinks its the woman's job... which it isn't
OceanBreathesSal 5
50- I agree with you. If he complains that she is being lazy by not washing the dishes then OP should do it himself. After all, he is a man and men are supposed to be independent and do things on their own *stops to think about what I just typed* hahahahahaha(: ya right.
Jimmyd0t 0
-48 good point. I agree
hahafylop 4
48- Mr Sassy Pants or Mrs assy pants...? I need some clarification.
imacreeper 3
I love how you are all calling OP lazy and are so quick to judge and assume. How do we not know that OP is the one always cleaning the dishes and is tired that he is doing all of the work? Maybe OP is taking a stand for themself.
MrSassypants 34
72 Mr.Sassypants. I thought having a top hat on my smiley face would help with that clarification but i guess it doesn't. Do I have to change my picture back to a piece of paper sayin "It's Mr.Sassypants Bitches?"
hahafylop 4
Holy shit guys it was a joke. Wow, is sarcasm a lost art?
Veraymix 6
One of you just needs to do those dishes. No complaints! -cracks whip-
hahafylop 4
99- You sound like a good slave driver. Mine just died, are you up for hire?
MrSassypants 34
96 actually people ask me a lot.
Trupe 3
You can wash that shit too. Whining ass...
brt3420 13
why hasn't he told her to do her job yet?
Leah_Adelle 0
check out his profile...
hahafylop 4
Well I guess thats old then. My apologies. 120, you made me feel like a moron.
rawrlily 0
Wait a second... I call bluff on this one. How the hell did OP's girlfriend buy something while she was in the kitchen?
MrSassypants 34
122 tis okay my young grasshopper.
hahafylop 4
OK now that that's out and all my comments have been voted down, I will just say this quickly. I didn't pick up on the tall hat as my iPod rarely shows photos.
MrSassypants 34
140 it's okay. I know I get glorious amounts of thumb up (okay I don't jeez!) but I get thumbs down a lot too. One of my comment got thumbs downed over 100 times. That's like 50 people with two thumbs. JK but just keep commenting in hopes that it gets better. Hopefully it will.
hahafylop 4
Haha thats funny. While reading your profile, I noticed that we have one thing in common. We both miss the older users, who were guaranteed to make you laugh while reading the comment. How I wish we could go back a year...,
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
ur hot Mrs. Assypants
MrSassypants 34
151 I do not know if I should take that as a compliment.
RainXD 0
50, you pussbag.
Crlnprz 11
#77 i was actually talking about OPs gf not the OP in my comment
ChibiGirl5 0
lol mrsassypants your birthdays the same as my dad
Stressed_Student 2
So...does anyone just reply to one comment now?
goneyetalive 0
yew must be one of those men who believe in woman's work.? too bad it's the 21st century wash da damn dishes.
1215116a 14
165, why is she lazy? If op saw the dishes couldn't he helped cleaned them? He says he was aware of the dishes, yet didn't do a thing. And why does op's girlfriend have to do them? Why can't they both clean them? It shouldn't be one persons job to do house work. I only said YDI because he was aware the sink was full, yet said 'FML it's full wat do i doooo?!?' and instead of cleaning them, was saying his girlfriend's job had to but she didn't, yet he couldn't do them for no reason. See what I mean?
1215116a 14
girlfriend's job *and she* had
1215116a 14
77, then wouldn't you think he'd add that part to the FML so it would make more sense?
MrSassypants 34
168 actually I messed up on my birthday. It says 5/13/1990 but my birthday is actually May 15.
SakeOfSacrifice 0
you're an idiot. you know that yeah?
SakeOfSacrifice 0
just clarifyin that was for comment 101
scrapmetal58 9
Perhaps he doesn't live with her thus it's her job to do the washing up.
xXSweetNightmare 0
I think it's time to do some dishes. Plain and simple.
xXSweetNightmare 0
and*
kendallhi 9
why is so bad exactly?
xmidnightxlonerx 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
it Is woman's work
1215116a 14
40, your comment is going to be burned down so fast...
theaws0m3guy 4
What'd it say?
1215116a 14
57, it said 'its a wonens job to do the dishes' or something similar to that.
hotrod14 0
sounds like they've got DBS ( dirty bastard syndrome
mexicotoucher 7
Or at least move the dishes
Jjustin 0
firs- never mind no one cares
CateXOX 0
So... do the dishes. It's not that hard.
Saltime 0
Maybe he needs it in steps: 1. Turn on water 2. Pour in soap. 3. ??? 4. PROFIT. 5. Dry and place neatly in cupboard.
CryMoreFMLs 15
You forgot step 6.... and 7.... 6) Eat food on clean dishes 7) Repeat steps 1-6.
shovels 0
Don't you guys get it? He's from Switzerland!
agaba 0
well do some dishes then
ariannaimelda 7
so just wash the dishes. that'll save you money in the future
avatar0810 15
I wish I could give u another thumbs up for ur pic.
ariannaimelda 7
hahaha thanks friend :)
guitarman1998 0
I agree with 24 so much!
sinny7684 4
I thumbed you up for your pic =D
BooGhosted 0
It just never gets old ahaha
KillTheNoise 0
Agreed. It gives me a quick chuckle everytime. I'd give ya a thumbs up by apparently the app on my phone can't handle a thumbs up
rachel_potter 13
well do the dishes!!
loveuforever 0
Do the dishes. Its not that hard.
randiZ25 0
So you were waiting on her to do them... apparently your plan isn't working out as well as you thought. your girlfriend wins..
HarleyCycle 0
girlfriend FTW!!
Jjustin 0
Everyone who's saying to just do the dishes I think the point of the fml is how dumb his gf is
AelaBee 7
Or maybe he could get off his lazy a** and do it himself...
Sirin_fml 47
Exactly.
jayellef 3
how is his girlfriend dumb? she is thirsty and can't get to the water so she brought her own.
avatar0810 15
me thinks 14 MAY be a bit sexist.
llisner 2
Why is his gf dumb? He lives there too and can wash them. She has probably been doing all the work around there and left the dishes hoping he would start doing his part.
CitrusGirl 0
The best rule: if she cooks the food, he washes the dishes. (Obviously works reversed too) My guess is he wants her to do both because he's lazy.
mmorgan9218 5
maybe he has been doin the dishes and he's tired of doin them all the time. why does everyone assume the guy is just being sexist? thinking that is sexist thinking in itself
DawnMarie11 0
she's not dumb per se, just lazy as hell and in my book that's worse.
lidemocr 0
passive agressiveism rules!
fthku 13
My first take on this FML wasn't that neither OP nor his girlfriend were "taking a stand", I think OP was just realising how they're BOTH incredibly lazy. I don't understand any assumptions here. As I see it, these are the possibilities: 1. Both OP and his girlfriend are lazy. What seems, to me at least, as the likely option. 2. OP is sexist. 3. OP works and his girlfriend doesn't, or both of them work but only he contributes around the house. 4. OP isn't sexist, but is a lazy asshole and wants his girlfriend to do chores. Again, not because he believes it's a woman's job, but just because he's a lazy asshole. There is no way to know which one is true, so stop assuming.