Today, I learned that my mother now refuses to drink anything but bottled water because she actually believes that the government is putting a chemical in tap water that lowers pregnancy rates. She is trying for her 5th child. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML
Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, after weeks of drinking my mom's vodka and replacing it with water, it now only tastes like water. She has a habit of drinking on Fridays. Today is Friday. My life is a ticking time bomb. FML
Today, I got screamed at by my mom for about 10 minutes because she claims I’m ruining my diet by drinking sparkling water, claiming it’s “soda”. I had to explain that it has zero sugar, calories, etc. She told me that it’s “the same fucking shit.” And to not trust “the government food labels.” Huh? FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
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Top comments
Eric77lv 2
Bottled water is even worse...
Kill_Kayt 5
Well they do put Fluoride in the water which is a neural toxin (IE kills brain cells). Why do you think toothpaste says if swallowed contact poison control?
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Comments (84)
lexieecaat 0
bottled water increases the chance of getting cancer.
idontknowyou123 0
Its a conspirisy man... the government is trying to control us man... they got a car that runs on water man...
LunaDragon 10
That's 70s Show, will always be awesome.
Skyanne 11
FYL for knowing your mother's constantly doing the dirty to try to get pregnant. I don't care how old anyone is, knowing your parents do it is disturbing. D:
deviable 9
Some parents tell others if they're planning on having a baby.
OriginalimoaN 15
A bit rude there.. Some people are just THAT paranoid. Plus, opnever said mom was stupid.
comedybreak 20
Please being paranoid is one thing, it's another to accuse the government of putting chemicals in water. That's illogical. First of all what chemical lowers pregnancy rates that can be put in water? Second there's many water companies. Third there's too much ******* cities for the government to control the water. Fourth scientists do studies all the time, wouldn't they figure it out by now? OP'ss mom is stupid and ignorant.
supimnyancat 9
I wouldn't be surprised if her theory is true.
br0ccoli 15
Us normal folk will never know. *shrugs*
FajitaFreak 3
It would not surprise me in the least if that were true. Also, there IS fluoride as well as some other chemicals depending on where you live. Fluoride is very toxic. Good for your teeth, but there's a reason why you aren't supposed to swallow toothpaste.
Killer_fel 15
What?!?! You AREN'T supposed to swallow! Oh no!
Killer_fel 15
Why?
br0ccoli 15
Who knows what theyre doing. To prove your theory, all doctors should document each pregnancy and graph it using four charts: race, religion, social class, and location. If one group shows a dramatically higher amount of pregnancies as a % of people of child bearing age, you've got your culprit.
tobedd 13
No connection, they would simply be another unfounded survey that people use. Way way way more factors than just water.
br0ccoli 15
I'm not saying that the source is water. I'm saying that If someone was causing infertility, all you have to do is search for the group who has the highest levels of pregnancy because obviously they wouldn't want to keep their own women from getting impregnated and would tell them things like "oh, don't drink that water or beverage, it's not good for you. Don't worry if other people drink it and seem fine. I'm telling you not to."
docscientist 10
It's not a goddamned theory. It crazy speculation.
TwoZeroOZ 2
Perhaps the categories you're talking about have an impact on fertility themselves? Then what?
br0ccoli 15
18 - actually, scientists do studies on the things they get funding for. Thurs not specifically testing for causes of infertility. Random fact:. H5N1 is a rare flu that is highly fatal, but is not really transferrable to humans, which is why it hasn't been a problem. HOWEVER, 2 labs created a strain that is so contagious that it is spread through the air. I sure hope those ******* know what they're doing. Read about it from the NY Times. Smart doesn't always mean they have common sense.
friedbunnies 9
If only they would...