Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
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Comments (94)
mikeymayhem_87 15
Anthrax is a great Metal band. But people would probably hate you because they would associate you with the biological item, not the band
DanielleinDC 34
At least your grandfather and sanity prevailed. Did your dad want to name your brother Botulism?
mayley 16
Good save by your Grandad! :)
carebear808 12
I don't get it
StanSmith2013 26
What's wrong with that? Maybe you and your friends Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Poison and Guns N Roses could all play have played football together? I bet you feel left out now for having a 'normal' name.
wjh100 13
Kinda confused cuz 2 of those are from thwrong decade and none of them are even remotely the same genre
SphinxJinx 0
Aw I would have loved that name xD
Rubbishdump 6
i don't understand
ShayMarie99 15
My dad wanted to name me Stormy... I dodged a bullet with that one, too.
unwantedmemories 5
See how much your grandfather loves you!
bluntbeak 6
my dad wanted to name me cubic :(