Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad sent me $200 by mail, only to mail it to the wrong person. So now some random person is getting $200 from my dad. FML
Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML
Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, my grandfather sent me a bill from when I had to live with him in foster care. I apparently owe him 62k for shampoo, food, etc. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, my grandpa took the family out for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turned around without thinking and give him a big hug, and said, "Thanks for dinner Grandpa." It wasn't my grandpa. FML
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Top comments
nanxi 30
'Cause you know, that is definitely a name your kid won't be made fun over. Go treat your grandfather with something really nice, OP.
SilentScreamer 12
Your father's a smart man.
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Comments (94)
samcro3 8
I. Am. The. Law!!!
Enslaved 38
"You won't **** around no more".(:
sugarshane007 20
What they didn't tell you is that haad you been a girl, your name would have been Chlamydia.
Sputnikspak 13
Thanks to my father, I wasn't named Desirée. No money was exchanged, so far as I know. I think we both got the better end of that bargain.
Enslaved 38
Is that because others thought: "You gotta be, you gotta be bad You gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger?"
OptimusVader 23
I was about to say, Tesla only makes me think of one of the greatest minds to ever exist. He was an amazing man, I would name my dog after him if it were a genius.
OptimusVader 23
If your name had been Anthrax, imagine trying to send in admission stuff for colleges! They might not want to open the mail.
MarissaCristina 13
Anthrax wouldn't be that bad. You'd just have to rock it. Possibly literally.
perdix 31
#29, you have a conundrum. What would you call your dog until you ascertained that it was a genius?
Prophetic 2
How old are you? Twelve?
PandaMantis 6
I know a tot named Tesla now, for the same reason.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
If not for missing a Y chromosome, I would have been named Buck Dwayne. True story.
RedPillSucks 33
so apparently any old name wont do... :-)