Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML
Today, my sister got a speeding ticket in the mail. A month ago, I got pulled over and used her name, intending to take care of it but forgot. She's going to the police station to review the footage. FML
Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML
Today, one of my twin sons found out he's going to be a dad. His little sister who loves science ended up telling him that, since he has a twin who is genetically identical, he's genetically the baby's dad too. My son, being a bit dim, took this to mean his brother slept with his wife and hit him. FML
Today, my brother found out that getting pulled over is technically getting arrested. Almost on cue, we got pulled over because my dad doesn't realize that "stop at a Stop sign" doesn't mean "slow down to a crawl, then go." My brother then started yelling, "WE'RE BEING ARRESTED!" At least the cop thought it was funny. FML
Today, I found out that even though my sister and I are identical twins, I'm known as "The ugly one". FML
Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
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Top comments
letthemxeatcake 0
Sucks to have an evil twin, doesn't it?
14hatemachine 2
and next you'll be calling each other ugly haha.
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Comments (118)
tryinghisbest 0
aww that sucks man
nazooer 11
Technically it's still his.
americayay 0
and he can press charges if he wants to.
youreanidiot 0
and you're an idiot for leaving your license where he could use it while being pulled over
Sun_Kissed18 25
He could have stolen/switched them while he was away, or sleeping, or something. Not his fault but isn't there something he can do about it?
AnaMaree 0
Beat his twin up.
Lahir 0
lool your twin is the man. just get back at him by stealing his liscence and get a speeding ticket
peff_fml 6
haha I'm a fraternal twin :P
fkingstooge 0
Owned. Haha
agent_fml 0
what a dbag
letthemxeatcake 0
Sucks to have an evil twin, doesn't it?
ctbabyy 0
I have an evil twin. >.>
stargazur 9
My identical twin sister is pretty evil but I don't think she would go that far.
myballs 0
That is amazing.
14hatemachine 2
and next you'll be calling each other ugly haha.
rutzy342 0
On the bright side, you can still switch off when having sex. =)
OMGoriginality 0
Go have a child and give the lady his information, then tell him "It's not mine" or "Giggidy giggidy fool". Since your twins proving who is the father will not be a simple matter and if it's all on paper that it's his and not yours then you win.
spyderman2190 0
haha good idea
Rach_star 0
i love you
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ah, but think of the revenge possibilities. Spying on the naykid wiminz in the houses on your block? Having sex with his girlfriend while he's out getting condoms? Taking his car and running a ton of red lights? Just make sure you get caught and drop his name. :]
Witchcraft_fml 5
Why, thank you, Mercy! :D *curtsy*
XOfiestypixie 0
you forgot the signing him up for a gay **** site & leaving the computer open where the parental unit can see it. =)
Witchcraft_fml 5
You're right! He should probably make sure that it's the most expensive one he can find, too... ...Unless the twin agrees to take all the OP's tests in class for him from now on.
TenebrificTurtle 0
But what if his twin sucks at that stuff. With an evil twin about I would not trust them to not screw up my life more. You forgot to add, sexually harass goats. Go to a bar and get "drunk" and when the cops come expose yourself. 'sorry officer! here is my license." Star in a **** under his name. Grope nuns. Put drugs in his backpack. Tell someone he tries to touch you. And win.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Star in a pr0n?! He would be instantly famous on the intarwebs, but even more so if it starred thems BOTHS! :]
TenebrificTurtle 0
He could do some weird screen magic and make it look like his twin is in there.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Magic tricks and sex tricks all rolled into one? He would make millions. :o
TenebrificTurtle 0
He can pull his penis out of a hat and turn it into doves.
Witchcraft_fml 5
I'm impressed and I haven't yet witnessed it! Can he also make flowers blossom out of his urethra?
TenebrificTurtle 0
Better he can pull scarves out of his prostate and his nipples heal cancer.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Magic tricks? The cure to cancer? Sex? This is very elite ****. This **** wins above all **** in the world.
TenebrificTurtle 0
Shhh, but Elite Pr0n has a higher standard than like other pr0n. First of all look at the size of the 0 used. **** usually has a smaller o. It shows its high grade. Also no one else in the world has a male lead with nipples that cure cancer. It opens it up for such great movies as "Touched By an Angel then Skull ******" and "When Harry Met Sally (at the strip club)" These remakes might seem pathetic but Op also holds the skillz to turn into females. I know it sounds weird, but he is the more femanine twin and his power allows him to look like Meg Ryan for a pr0n such as "Sleepless in Seattle (cause we are *******)" and "You've Got Herpes."
Witchcraft_fml 5
Favorites of mine are Double Infidelity, Ryan's Saving My Privates, the Penis, Ho ***** for Old Men, and I Want to Stick My Python in Your Holy Grail. These all contained said eliteness we have been discussing. These are all pr0n.
Intoxicunt 6
Punch him in the face. That should help distinguish the two of you in the future.
shadowkin666 0
Been there, done that.