Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML
Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited, until I saw they were from a friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
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Top comments
Nykaen 0
Dude... Leave her, she is worthless. And disown your brother... No man should ever do that to family.
crazyval619 6
Dude that sucks.
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Comments (176)
saintjoe89 0
Dude that is sooooo bad!! Leave the bitch!
Alastrina_fml 20
I hope you kicked BOTH of their sorry lying asses to the curb!! Family sucks!!
xXGIR6Xx 4
well, get shovel.
wifeydearest 8
Honestly, the best way to get revenge on them both is to just let them have each other. Tell your bros wife/gf or whatever, and tell them that you're okay with it. **** them. If they did that shit to you, they will do that same shit to each other. Just make sure you exercise your self control when your wife/soon to be ex wife (hopefully) comes crawling back to you on her hands and knees. Naked. Haha. Seriously though, let them have each other. Obviously, you're way too good for that *****-****, considering you we're coming home with wine and flowers just because, and she was coming on your brother just because she could. Good luck!
SillyAngel_3 7
After being on this site for a while I've come to the conclusion that you all have horrible relationships and/or choose terrible people
Orchard 33
Holy Shit! Can't imagine what I would have done in your shoes OP. I'd probably be on Death Row right now had I been in your place...
thisisnotAJ 6
Ouch
Argretto 5
Beat. His. Ass
KeepItTrill 7
This was on iFunny
pancakesrock 7
Oh. Really? I would think that's the thing to do.