Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year-olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and led the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty, and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CaptNomNom 17
Never too late to learn! Maybe this will help u get closer to her :)
juicedboi 7
Bring some floaties. Might as well make a joke out of it. You're stuck there anyway
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
loserboii 11
If they were making fun of you then that would be hilarious.
toenibbler 14
Better late than never I guess
DontForgetMe4 0
This isn't bad, you can make up for it by actually learning! One thing in common with your crush. Don't be embarrassed at least you got swimming lessons.
jose18 3
Wow I'm a paraplegic and I know how to swim
saksxalmo 20
I know, right? Babies know how to swim. I can understand not swimming WELL, but how can you just not know how to swim? Isn't it kind of self-explanatory?
KiddNYC1O 22
Babies know because they can. Has to do with the womb.
Bullpine 11
Yeah. Try sticking a baby in a tub of water. It'll swim right out. Idiot.
1crabbygirl 10
You just compared the paraplegic commentator to a baby. Nice.
KiddNYC1O 22
Disregard comment 52. What I meant to say is that babies instinctively hold their breath underwater. =]
saksxalmo 20
#64-- Babies have a reflex that allows them to swim or keep their heads above water for some amount of time. Look it up before you call people names. Like I said, I can understand not swimming WELL, but I can't understand not being able to swim at all. I never said a baby could swim out of a tub, so it was rude of you to call me an idiot. I obviously didn't mean being paraplegic=baby, that doesn't make sense. I never said that, so don't jump to conclusions. I meant that swimming, an activity which for able-bodied people usually requires a lot of leg movement can in fact be performed without using one's legs, showing that it's not a very complicated activity. Likewise, babies can also swim at a basic level (it's a reflex, but again, of course they don't swim well) so I wanted someone to explain how a cognizant person with more functioning limbs than necessary could be unable to or not know how to do what is pretty much a simple task. I ask a question and get called an idiot for no reason. You sound like nice people. ^_^
KiddNYC1O 22
I thought she called me an idiot. I could've sworn I saw a documentary on babies being good swimmers...
nofearjenshere 12
And the award for longest comment goes to... 110! Congrats!
tarabelle 7
Wow. You're a douche and you know how to swim.
saksxalmo 20
#150-- What about asking a question and using facts to support my argument makes me a douche? No one has answered my question yet, by the way.
someguy314159265 15
#64: According to my mother, that actually somewhat happened when I was a baby.
tarabelle 7
152-I actually wasn't talking about you...I was talking about 15. Just because he's a paraplegic and knows how to swim does NOT give him any rights to make fun of someone who can't swim.
tarabelle 7
Oh my gosh! That sucks!! I'm really sorry...unless he has to give you mouth to mouth? Haha lol(:
tarabelle 7
*she. My bad!
micahsmommy 13
Your profile say you're a swimmer. Are you going to be OP's instructor?
tarabelle 7
Lol! Haha no :( I'm not a swim instructor and I already have a boyfriend(:
ipwnallmen 10
well hey, you know your teacher so you'll have more to talk about now in school, right? :)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Your pic is slightly disturbing...
ragdoll316 9
Your pic is from troll!?
terrask 11
Well, at least you're learning now and, bonus, there's eye candy teaching you. I'd say it's a win!
BunBunBabe 8
Damn that sucks, but there's plenty of other guys to crush on, but it's more important to learn how to swim -even if you don't want to for fun it could save your life in an emergency
KeyboardWarrior 10
Why do you use commas and question marks, but never periods? Doesn't really make sense why you would punctuate half a comment.
BunBunBabe 8
Do you have a life?
obviousboy 8
Just don't pop a boner at an inopportune time.
Enslaved 38
Swim class? I would think by a certain age you would be able to visually study how it's done and self teach. But I guess swim lessons are better than the sink or swim tactic I endured. :O
kerrwoof 13
I got the sink or swim too... It was fine until middle school came along and it was mandatory to take swimming lessons. I decided to go in the one where all my friends were and needless to say we all failed because of me... Oopsies.