Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Little perv
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Tyranny
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year-olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and led the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty, and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
Not working out
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Top comments
CaptNomNom 17
Never too late to learn! Maybe this will help u get closer to her :)
juicedboi 7
Bring some floaties. Might as well make a joke out of it. You're stuck there anyway
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Comments (162)
rubberduckie94 13
As embarassing as it is good for you. Everyone should know how to swim. My hubby does not know how and while he is careful around water I still worry about him. As long as you try hard I am sure your crush respects you for it.
KiddNYC1O 22
Your husband now has an FML to write thanks to you. =P
jeob1992 8
Today my wife told the entire world I can't swim. FML
rubberduckie94 13
Yes, he is embarrassed because all of our names and addresses are so public on this site.
KiddNYC1O 22
No need to jump to defensive mode. For future reference; "=P" implies banter. =P
rubberduckie94 13
Sorry, I am usually not that defensive.
KiddNYC1O 22
It's quite alright. =]
Ifrah 0
I swear! This has happened with me too! SO embarrassing!!
micahsmommy 13
Just work hard and become "teacher's pet".
DocBastard 40
Don't worry, I'm sure those water floaties look damn sexy on your arms. The only thing hotter than that are those foam backpacks. I hear girls just love them.
Pinkfl0yd 9
I gave that bitch water wingies. Bitches love water wingies.
shovelface1990 4
Play it up. Show up in flippers goggles and floaties. Sure you look silly but it shows that you have a sense of humor.
TheJester12 15
you have not just been friendzoned. you have been job zoned.
Calyx_fml 22
There are plenty of adult swimming classes. YDI for signing up for the kiddy class to be near your crush. On the other hand, you could use it to get to know her. Being there shows her your vulnerable side. Chicks dig that for some crazy reason.
Mearemoi 14
He probably didn't know that his crush would be teaching. Why not spare the embarrassment?
tobedd 13
I was about to post the same comment. Totally deserved it (unless the receptionist had a wonderfully twisted sense of humour.
br0ccoli 15
Doesn't seem like such a bad situation. Ever seen Sandlot? You should take a hint from it.
sillycart 9
Favorite movie!
doglover569 0
Drown and maybe you'll get a little ACTION ;)
mrpipp 0
Pretend you're drowning and get mouth to mouth....