Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while teaching swimming to a bunch of five year-olds, one particularly bratty girl decided she didn't want to swim and led the entire class to strike, leaving the pool empty, and me without a job. Apparently I was teaching the next world tyrant to swim. FML
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
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Top comments
CaptNomNom 17
Never too late to learn! Maybe this will help u get closer to her :)
juicedboi 7
Bring some floaties. Might as well make a joke out of it. You're stuck there anyway
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Comments (162)
Mearemoi 14
Don't worry OP, I can't swim to save my life... Although that might be because I have an extreme fear of holding my breath underwater. I do plan to try to get over the fear in a few years and learn how to swim, but I'm already in my early twenties, so your not alone :)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Better to be mocked by little kids now than drown.
linkinpark98 24
Maybe you could ask for some 'personal' lessons. ;)
awepeach 3
By jove! Back in my day, we worked for everything we did, unlike kids today with their iphones and ipads and ipools. That's the trouble with kids these days. Just waiting for everything to be done for them, includin' their there a swimmin'. Well, that's not how you're going to learn how to swim, by golly gosh darn. You got to get in the water n' flail your arms about and doggie paddle till ya stay afloat. Waitin' for yer mommy to drag you through the water so you don't have to exert yourself, are ya, lazy bones? Your darn tootin' things we had sense enough to swim by ourselves in my generation! Even in an icy pond below zero degrees too, you betcha!
m3lyc 18
Best. Comment. Ever. This brightened an already good day :).
awepeach 3
Thank you! Your comment brightened my day too. Glad no one thought it was serious, lol.
nanaooze 1
Lol same exact thing happened to me it sucks
Hellomynameisme_fml 1
Could be a good thing if ya know what I mean(: lol
maydah 0
so I read this and couldn't stop laughing ????
KylieG818 13
ask her for a private lesson ;-)
X_Codes 11
@106: ...and use of the word crush is by no means exclusive to teenagers. I echo one of the above comments. Complain to her about the little brats peeing in the pool and ask for private lessons!
Marteeny23 19
She obviously likes teaching those little brats so if you wanna get it good with her I would help the kids with their swimming once I caught on.
CTVrhythmguitari 8
In the words of the legendary Maynard James Keenan... "Learn to swim." Gotta love tool.