Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
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Top comments
angela3222 0
EW WTF.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Shave.
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Comments (175)
machalaDGAF 0
Wow, dirty ass.
mollysaysrawr_fml 7
OHMYGOD . EW .
Stepherrss 0
& you havent thought of shaving it yet? what are you waiting for ? cockroaches?
undeadcorpseYAY 0
Santa,you dirty fat man!
oneworldguy 0
Take a razor to the little f-ers!!!
skyeyez9 25
106: Kinda like how the remora fish tag along underneath sharks. To eat all the scraps.
JungleDisorder 0
Now they will hibernate in your hairy ass crack for the chill windy months of winter and make love with the native crabs you have in your balls they will produce crants and the will be unstoppable in taking over crotches and perfect lawns fyl
foryoublue94 0
Stop D'=
foryoublue94 0
I loved beards until this. Now I am afraid of beards D=
skyeyez9 25
69: that gave me the mental image of OP waking up to dung beetles rolling little balls of shit all over his bed.
V1TAM1N_MAN413 0
This is also some of the biggest bullshit i have ever heard in my entire life, because i think that the majority of humans would not have ants crawling out of their beard(if they have one), they wouldn't continuously have them crawling on their face because they would just go somewhere where there arnt any ants, or they'd call the exterminator...