Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
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Top comments
angela3222 0
EW WTF.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Shave.
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Comments (175)
fss 0
I saw this in an episode of Futurama.
Zombie65 0
SHOWER SOAP SHAMPOO On a regular basis like everyday
kubleeka 0
WTF?
LoveMySoldier82 0
I have never had a FML post make me vomit in my mouth a little. You, sir, have made this first possible. FOLs for reading this.
GreeenEggsAndHam 7
anteater is the pet for you.
iTzDann 0
Shower/Shave dirty dirty DIRTY
Spenerish 0
Cue redneck jokes here.
Driftz 3
He could've fell into an anthill and ignored it. Just sayin'. I bet most of us shower or shave everyday right?
GreeenEggsAndHam 7
apparantly not in the op's case.
mrstzeed 1
SHAVE omg that is from food left in your beard do you not wash up mate?
LewisG 0
Just dip your beard in boiling water?