Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML
Today, after I caught my husband cheating and lying, he had the nerve to claim it wasn't a big deal because, "I always come home to you!" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a love letter saying about how much he cares for me, how he'd die for me and how he wants to spend his life with me. What really took my breath away was the confession at the end about how he "accidentally" cheated on me with my best friend. FML
Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML
Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
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Top comments
Thisdeadhorse 0
you have a very intelligent husband
Jerzyginger74 0
Oh, I don't even know where to begin with that one. That sounds like a back-handed admission to me.
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Comments (108)
tboudre 0
the perfect answer!
yafuckyourlife 4
Wait, what? You said 126, if you're commenting on Djee's comment yada yada yada....correct? Is there any particular reason every time I comment an fml you happen to reply to my comment? Who's challenging who here?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Yes, I did say that. Because the comment that was there at the time, instead of the "oxymoron"comment, was Djee's, and if it shows up again I'll be glad to show you exactly what I mean. I don't care that you're challenging me (well, technically you aren't... but meh), I just find it strange that you're picking arguments with everyone. I'm not following your comments, but I've come across several arguments involving you on several different FMLs. Every time you comment on an FML? Sorry, I don't have that kind of time on my hands. I just point out stupidity or mistakes when necessary, and when I have time.
yafuckyourlife 4
Really? I only know of one... And I'm not 'challenging' you or anyone else. By the way, sweetheart, I have 59 comments to your 2,554.
5t3ff1k4h 47
166 - There's no need to call me "sweetheart", since I don't take kindly to that if said to me condescendingly. Number of comments made is irrelevant; I've probably been on FML a lot longer than you have.
Mr_holiday 0
Aawwwwe... Now that's love
yafuckyourlife 4
Who's being condescending? Right, the number of comments is irrelevant when talking about the number of comments. Now that makes sense! Have a nice night. =)
5t3ff1k4h 47
You're being condescending in the implied tone of your comment. If you didn't mean it that way, rephrase. It's not hard. The total number of comments I've made on the FML site as compared to you is irrelevant. How is it not? Considering I've been on FML for probably close to a year, I've had sufficient time to make that number of comments. Considering your 59 comments, you've either just become a member of FML or you rarely comment. What does this have to do with the comment bug getting rid of Djee's comment? And, if you really are new to FML, there is such a thing as a comment bug. I will have a good night, despite you whining about nonsensical things. Oh and in case you haven't figured it out yet, the reply key doesn't work after you hit reply and the site tells you you've commented too soon. You have to hit it again.
greenset001 0
hi
7g23 0
He's saying no he hasn't cheated on you and that he loves you all at once.
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
my step dad (not my fav guy in the world) gave me the same kinda answer when I asked him if he'd ever gone to jail. I found out that he has gone to jail twice. wepon posetion and drug posetion.
lilybugie 0
I don't see the fml in this... **** my life for reading this.
xOhNox420x 0
hahahahhaahaaaa
skipper211 0
it would be sweet If it wasn't so suspicious
Britney_Spears 1
Oh, OP. OP OP OP... you're so young. So full of silly little ideas, which, while fanciful and nice, are just dead wrong. But don't worry, because Britney is hear, Britney is wise, and Britney is going to teach you an essential life lesson. So listen closely: All men are bastards. All men cheat on all women all the time. Okay, well, I suppose that's not entirely true. But what is true is that all men want to hurt you, because your pain makes them happy. And to think that men don't want to hurt and cheat and hurt you is wishful thinking, wishful, but unfortunately ill-advised, BUT FOR A REASON: Men need power. Power makes them men. Men and power go hand in hand, and cannot exist without one another. And how do they get power? By lying. Sex and hurting and cheating and lying and all the awful things they do to you are incidental. They are the direct result of lying. And I realize lying was listed above, and there's a reason. There are two kinds of lying. Lying(1) is TO LIE. Lying(2) is WHEN YOU LIE. So lying(1) is lying(2), but lying(2) is NEVER EVER lying(1). See what I'm saying? I realize that this is a little out of order, so please bear with me. Now, I once new a guy who stole my tampons when I was getting my period. Why? So I'd sleep with him. Did I sleep with him? Yes. But I regret it. All eight times, during my five-day period, I slept with him, and it was great, but I ended up hating myself. So you know what I did? It's a very simple sollution, one that any girl, anywhere can use. It's five simple steps. STEP 1 Get in touch with yourself. Get to know who you are and why he left. Why did he leave? Because he's a man, and you couldn't fulfill his needs. STEP 2 Get in touch with yourself. Begin to realize that it's entirely your fault that he left. STEP 3 Slap yourself in the face and ladyparts for thinking like that. He left. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. STEP 4 The hardest step. Travel by bus to another state, call him on a payphone and explain to him, in detail, how much he hurt you, and give him a chance to explain. Now, he may try to defend himself, but don't listen. All men are liars and cheaters. Tell him to go to hell and hang up. Then call back, appologize, say you'll take him back, and go to him. Because, the truth is, women can't live without powerful, lying, cheating, hurting bastards giving them secret, naughty pleasures in the night. I know I can't. I'm a horny-ass bitch. I'm not afraid to admit that. It's a fact of life. Just like the following facts; Men cheat. Men lie. Men hurt. Men wound. Men burn. Men do all sorts of horrible things, but the truth is, we fragile, tiny, pathetic women cannot help but return to them. We need them. They make us who we are, just as we make them who they are. The pain they give and the tears we shed strengthen us ninefold. So much or history has been strong men and weak women. All the best parts. I am a weak, frail woman with no backbone, who has finally decided to take a stand. And admit: men control me. And they should. They are the stronger sex. Feminists make me sick. We belong in the kitchen, and nowhere else. I feel like I'm forgetting something.... Am I? Oh, yeah. Step 5. STEP 5 Go on FML and post a rambling and pointless comment on a video. Which you just read. Idiot.
yafuckyourlife 4
WOOWWWWWW!!
Marcelb 17
you have serious issues.
epicWINisFAIL 0
That is win xD and if NO ONE got what the person is doing you utterly horribly failurely fail