Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
Queen_bee1234 21
Definitely not the pussy he wanted to see.
Clevelandians 17
Maybe it turned him on... I'm not are we went far enough into the story for this to be an FML. Unless you had poop stains. FYL if you had poop stains.
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Comments (96)
kidtoy 18
Well sounds like you got a completion with a pussy.
SweetIam 12
Hope you had a laugh. Sorry op!
sp00derman 23
the cat knows what's up
EJ_Red 9
Your cat definitely knows how to flirt
Matheo_fml 21
How dirty was this underwear so it had to be an FML??? Are we talking skidmarks?
WOTAN1488 24
That's like a bad dream come true.
countryrose92 23
Don't try to impress anyone, who you should be with is the person who is impressed by you without you even trying. That's the person that will truly respect and cherish you.
hater4lizife 15
****-blocked by your pussy
joanleesimone 2
Catfished? No. Catblocked.
ThatHorse 15
Well if things had gone like it sounds like you wanted them too, he'd be touching a pair of dirty underwear pretty soon anyway.