Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
Queen_bee1234 21
Definitely not the pussy he wanted to see.
Clevelandians 17
Maybe it turned him on... I'm not are we went far enough into the story for this to be an FML. Unless you had poop stains. FYL if you had poop stains.
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Comments (96)
MatthewWelch15 3
Your cat must not like him
candygirl2015 12
Maybe that turns him on ;)
Drosophila82 18
Whatever, animal accidents can be cute. If be cared too much about it perhaps you're he's not the right guy. How could you have averted this : have no laundry, or trap your car.... Life is hard enough
tori3700 16
worst ice breaker ever?
fedorov5549 9
Wow. You can't make this stuff up.
Scorpio01 16
She was reminding you who's the boss.
iunpossible 15
Zz
Miscellanonymous 8
this has nothing to do with what OP wrote, but I was so surprised to see someone write from N.M, which is rare for me to see since im from N.M too. But in any case I wouldnt take so much heep. Animals can do the darnest things with anything really. Even if they were dirty, maybe he didnt acknowledge them to be.
marlie01 18
Cats are so evil
Hauclir 14
I hope there wasn't skid marks.