Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
RIP Beard
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Foreplay
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Get away from me
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
No kinkshaming, but…
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Slick move
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (325)
danielleeee 0
ahh eeew :S
icurry 0
Aw, at least she's good looking right?
ditzykayla 0
FYL lol i hope that was the clue to stop.
PinkNmetal 0
Do you know why she has hair on her body? SHE IS A MAMMAL. SO ARE YOU. GET OVER IT.
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
I agree with #10. I have tiny unnoticeable blonde hairs on my boobs. I've never shaved the little blonde hairs (which everyone tells me they can't even see) on my tummy because I'm afraid they'll get really bad. Girls can't be naked kittens like you want them to be, I'm sorry. >:(
bollocks18 0
hahaha sweet. this is like a brawl. i think we're missing vital parts of the story eh? liiiike was she a dude? or was it just peach fuzz? maybe she had long hair(from her head of course) and thats what was in ur mouth. lol i think he was intoxicated to the max and doesnt really know whats goin on. lol it was a dude huh? hahahahaha beer sure makes em purty!
bollocks18 0
and 27 if ur gay. then dont comment. ur just making an ass outta urself. this is about man and woman so leave ur comments to what u can relate to.
Salinky123 0
Ok first f all, girls already have to shave there legs, under arms, and sometimes faces and or private parts... and why? all for men who dont no how much of a ****** pain it is to do. so if guys start assking us to shave our boobs then they better get ready to start ****** shaving there penises!!!! so get the **** over it!
ohdoctor 0
Just like #129 said, all women have some hair on their breasts/chest area. Sometimes it's very light and fine, sometimes not. Women actually have hair all over their bodies, just like men. Get over it.
Recusant 0
Have had that happen before. Luckily, I kept my eyes closed the whole time, and it was in the dark. Just pull it off your tongue and continue somewhere else.