Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
FMLwrestler 0
tranny bar much? FYL indeed. If she was simply ugly, but a woman, I wouldn't have been as scarred... but I still wouldn't do anything with her after that. Haha the night would be essentially over. Girls who really have chest hair need to WAX IT! not shave it, not leave it... WAX IT. if you think "guys are going to accept me as I am", take this as a lesson! Humans by nature are shallow and weak. This example is no different than guys wanting girl with super pretty faces, big boobs, nice butts, and great bodies... and it's no different than girls being turned off by any guy who is fat, short, or has a small d*ck. "Beauty is on the inside" is just a mantra for the ugly, by the ugly, to protect the ugly. Real people put in the work to make themselves socially desired, because they have the motivation to do so when they see what their rewards may be. Would Brad Pitt be famous if he was ugly as hell? How about sienna miller? Do you see where this is going? ======================= To 183: ahaha GOT EM! To 184: Shut up you one-sided b*tch, this goes for men as well as women. Don't even act like you women aren't super judgmental on guys as well. with criticism comes improvement, and with improvement comes perfection. you cannot ever be successful if you aren't critiqued.
spazley 0
lol@ all the fat hairy chicks jumping this guy's throat. Boob hair (not peach fuzz) on girls is disgusting. Double standards? Of course; but I don't see you whining about double standards when it's beneficial to you. FYL for sure
Kitty34_fml 0
YDI for hooking up with bar skanks. Ew.
jio_freed 0
#21 i think you and i are the exact same person lol. that's pretty much sums up me and my ex.
GrapefruitZoe 0
#185, you are not helping the human race. At least you recognize things, but I can't imagine waxing my chest. Ow. Since you understand what's wrong, at least try to fix it. Stupid.
GrapefruitZoe 0
#178, I appreciate you.
lalalala1234 0
10 & 135: agreed. though i think the OP is exaggerating. or drunk. or whatever. let's just say, for most girls, chest hair shouldn't be a problem: there shouldn't be very much of it, and it should be quite thin. i'm pretty sure most guys are so absorbed by your boobs they won't notice. so either the OP is exaggerating, or that was a pretty strange girl he hooked up with.
itbeme 0
i agreee with # 10 there is nothing wrong with hair i mean peope have hair on there head the only thing you can really do is get lazer hair removal because if you shave it it just gets stubble
Rauron 0
Agree with 29: ew.
drinkupgorgeous 0
But yeah don't complain about how someone isn't up to your standards when you only met them like 20 minutes ago. Not every girl is gonna be Adriana Lima, and I'm sure you're no model yourself so STFU, you got laid. I bet you still had sex with her, also. There's a reason why songs like "Lola" exist.