Today, I helped my girlfriend pick out a pretty dress for a corporate event. It turns out the first use it was going to see was a date with her side dick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party, but when I went to it, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to hook me up with a guy. It's the second time it happened since I met her. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Time to make her side dick, her only dick from now on.
Glowworm56 27
A shame that your taste in dresses is better than her taste in men.
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Comments (14)
SteelSoul5 9
Side dick instead of side chick now that has a "ring" to it !
jediloader 12
Bitches ain't nuthin' but hoes and tricks
jediloader 12
Bitches ain't nuthin' but hoes and tricks!
Lobby_Bee 18
Time to make her side dick, her only dick from now on.
Glowworm56 27
A shame that your taste in dresses is better than her taste in men.
acmariner99 25
How'd you find out? Dump her. The number of cheating victims on FML recently is pretty sad.
Dave_Davington 34
Well, you can hardly blame her. Buying an entire dress for just one thing is incredibly wasteful.
RichardPencil 32
On my first reading, I imagined a woman with a penis growing out of her left hip. I eventually figured it out, but the image of the woman with a side dick haunts me!
WeirdUS 30
There is a lot left out that needs to be filled in. Was she actually in a committed relationship with you? How long were you dating what was the circumstances of you buying the dress and the ages of the parties involved. Since you said corporate event I'm guessing it was fancy it cost a good bit, but if you guys weren't dating long and didn't have a secure relationship it might not entirely be her fault.
kerrygirl 13
Doesn't say he bought the dress, just helped her pick it out....
Lillysar91 20
What? He said girlfriend. Not friends with benefits not a polygamous relationship where both parties do engage in other sexual encounters with the consent of their partners. He helped her CHOOSE a dress for a corporate event so we can guess she is a grown ass woman who knows right from wrong so cheating is no way justifiable. No it her fault no matter how short the relationship is or how you young you are. Cheating is wrong. End of it and that's why he posted. If he were in a relationship where they agreed to see other people and then got pissed she did so it's his own problem but clearly this is not the case.
davecross 11
Who ever wrote this post need to go back to school and learn how to write.
Tim Grason 4
Oh the irony.