Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML
Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
They play with balls more than you do, apparently.
maskedman 9
I guess now you have to take women's tennis away from, which leads to him teeing off to women's golf, which eventually leads to him polishing his pin to "women's" bowling. The masculine women of women's bowling makes an easy transition into homosexuality which leads to a divorce. Let your husband watch normal **** so that we can put a stop to this.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (209)
NinjaJellyfish 27
Hmm, slightly suprised by the comments on this. I guess more detail is needed to make an accurate judgement. Firstly, why do you object to ****? If it's because you feel it's exploiting people, then I'm with you, but if it's just because you don't like it, I have less sympathy. Also, is this only visual ****, or do you have issues with written erotica? Secondly, is it the masturbating that affects you, or the watching? Links back to the previous point a bit, but if you feel unsexy/unwanted by him doing this, you need to talk to him. Or is it just the fact he seems to have promised you he wouldn't watch ****, and now you see him doing this? Thirdly, you do not have any obligiaton to get him off, despite what some of my fellow commenters seem to be implying. He's a grown man, and if he agreed to not watch ****, that is his decision. You have no responsibility to "make it up to him". However, forcing him into unwilling promises is not the way forward.
Jerepasaurus 12
I'm SO glad to find someone wrote a comment this intelligent. Took all the words out of my mouth. Good job! lol
hellolaina 18
If she doesn't want to touch her husband there's nothing wrong with that. Women aren't sex objects. He should respect that. FYL for him being a pig.
rubberduck_of_doom 31
I mean he probably shouldn't do it in the living room but c'mon.. Let your man have a little freedom! He's not your property and should be allowed to make his own decisions...
Pseudonym 18
Either let the man ********** in peace or engage with him sexually after shutting off his method of visual stimulation. It's normal, it's healthy and making it forbidden just makes you the unreasonable controlling asshole. Buy him headphones if you don't want to hear it. I'll never understand why other women find it blasphemous for men to have ****, stop being ridiculous.
BeefyQueefy 14
I don't get women who are bothered by ****. Why can't he watch any? If I were straight, wouldn't give a shit if my bf or husband watched. Watch together!!!
123Puppy 33
He shouldn’t be looking at other women when you two are together.