Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Go to the store get a mask, wait until they fall asleep, then wake them up with bright lights and creepy voices.
Acerhawk 24
You should "mug" them and just take all their valuables and hide them
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Comments (114)
Duriexp 20
what a bunch of douches
Potato91 7
that's quite the family
Parvati48 15
Wow that's terrible OP, sorry to hear that. Both the bit about your family and the mugging. :(
LeAngryChick 4
I'm so sorry! That is exactly the shit MY family would do to me, too! That is traumatizing! Hugs to you!
fly_panda 4
This is one of very few legitimate FML scenarios I've seen on this site. Hope yiu cope well OP!
skittyskatbrat 19
You know, you really ought to get a canister of pepper spray. And make sure your next "flinch" is a reflexive use of the spray. They think it's funny to act like muggers, you can think it's funny to treat them like one. Might be more fun than just taking a swing and it won't bruise your hand ;)
coolteen546 2
I'm extremely sorry about that, family shouldn't treat you horribly, thinking it's funny no less, when you Java been through something hard like that. Hang in there!
rebeltw 15
defend yourself! pinch scratch and bite
TallMist 32
How can anyone vote YDI on this?
jaydemonkey 6
That's ****** up -_-