Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
NoKo_fml 0
#114 his mother could be the one paying his insurance and or is th e actual owner of the car and he is the secondary driver
tdawgheath 0
Toys are weird, you fruit.
snoopy24_fml 0
117, maybe the reason he can afford a mustang is BECAUSE he lives at home and therefore doesn't have to pay rent or utilities (unless of course his parents are one of those who makes him pay rent / utilities for staying at home).
bgdaddy1711 0
this isnt a FML your just an idiot
alphabetcity 0
God are you people slow? The OP is saying theyre 20 because they are most likely underage. Not goddamn rocket science.
Poliz 0
I'm an Aussie, our legal drinking age is 18, we don't have that 'no open alcohol in cars' law, the age to buy sex toys and such is 18, so i just read this and laughed.
Gaiwa 0
1: "No open alcohol in cars law" - how stupid is that? You're drunk or you're not. "The possibility to drink"... ?! Are people unable to OPEN it later? If its empty, so what? If its empty and you're not drunk, whats the danger? 2. You're 20. Sooo? I dont know, but I guess the most people drink alcohol with 16 (here its legal) und I guess, 90% are no longer a virgin with 16, too. And I guess the most parents know that. You're 20, having sex and drinking alcohol. Thats hardcore. 3. Living with the parents: So? Thats more or less normal. With 20, its no big deal. 4. Mustang: Having a job or rich parents helps. I know a lot of people who had a BMW or Porsche in this age. One got a ******* Ferrari for is 18th birthday....
studmuffin88 0
Ha ha
loveyahun 0
Ewww. Rum is gross...sex toys are kind of cool looking. :)
X_Death_Note_X 8
oh god. why would you hand over your mustang to your mom anyway? dude i woukdnt let my parents touch it.