Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
FMLfangirl89 0
oh the joys of being a canadian, I can drink at 18! anyway, since you are 20 I'm sure your mother already knows you have sex and drink so whatever. still embarrasing and stupid though, shouldnt leave that shit in your car.
NoKo_fml 0
fangirl u cant drink in canada till ur 19.. unless ur in quebec
wesurfeveryday 0
sex toys might be kinda embarassing but everytthing else seems ok. NOT a FML
wesurfeveryday 0
im starting to think this is a fake one written by an eleven year old.
an0nym0us9 0
people who think this is fake are ignorant... just because they cant imagine this being true doesnt mean its not. I actually thought this was my brother at first. I'm away at college right now but the other week i bought him a bottle of rum that i later saw in his car. my mom is also looking to get a different car for him because the mustang uses way too much gas, and this is supposed to happen real soon. I could also imagine him with condoms and sex toys in his front seat, i would never put that past him. Hes twenty.
an0nym0us9 0
#99... Isn't that a lot of assumptions for one comment? Many facts about std's and promiscuity, but no references or even logical basis for your claims, tsk tsk.. I think you just posted so you could use the phrase "the gift that keeps on giving." He never said he was driving with an open bottle of rum in his car. What would his mom have done to him if she found the bottle in the house/garbage? His car is probably the only safe place he knows he can hide things like that from his mom. I think some people just haven't ever had real fun in their lives so they feel the need to bring others down and make themselves feel better. Why don't they just go and have fun?
de_krieg17 0
come live in canada bro. you woulda been legal
ali_said 0
..... you're 20, its your life not your moms.
hilaryy_fml 0
I just got really confused because were i live the legal drinking age is 18 and i was like... so what? but then i realised that its 21 in other places. Poor you man.
Cfreeze 0
You got a mustang when your 20? Who gives a shit what your mom says if you riding something like that.