Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML
Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML
Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
Today, I applied for my first job. I didn't know how to write a resume, so I copied and pasted one from someone else and reworked it. I got on the bus, handed it in, and left. Then I remembered I forgot to change the contact info and date. FML
Today, I was desperately handing out resumes. I came to my local grocery store and asked for a job application, the customer service rep told me all she needed was my resume. I smiled and gave it to her only to see her read it, laugh and put it straight in the garbage as I walked out. FML
Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML
Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AnnyPants 0
haha, wouldnt you proof-read your resume before you went out? maybe you will in future
TwilghtLuvr13 0
Please learn to, use commas correctly
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
TheJawsman 18
FYL yes; but your still an idiot for not checking your resume one last time before you printed those copies
kmfyr 0
FYL for having that done to you, but... Your livelihood was at stake here. You should have checked every single inch of that resume before handing them out. It's a pain, but at least you can spot any grammar or typographical errors (or sibling pranks) beforehand. You also now know that it's a good idea to password-protect anything you don't want your brother to edit. ;)
FromCFL 0
YDI for not checking them over a final time before sending them out.
Grangoire 0
Pre read YDI Oh yeah, and give your bro chocolate laxative before he leaves for school/work asap.
dj555dragon 2
PWNED!
Shit4Luk 0
Tell all his friends you saw him doing something that would humiliate him (playing with your feminine products, playing dress up with your clothes, wearing your make up, etc)
Coocumber 0
Hahahahaha besides the fact that it could possibly prevent you from getting a job. Once my brother changed every verb on my resume to some form of the word "****" leading to phrases such as "I enjoy ******* with children."
JC193 0
That's unfortunate for you but hilarious nonetheless.
LG_1987 0
Your brother is an asshole.
disgruntledyouth 0
I can relate to that, but all my brother did was write ass at the end of my paragraph and before I turned it in I had to scratch it out. You should kick his ass and/or do the same thing to him
hellokeroppi 5
that's cold....