Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to hospital because he had two Lego pieces up his nose. He’s 19 and shoved them up there because he was drunk. FML
Today, I picked up my idiot 20 year-old son from a party. He was shit-faced drunk and managed to drop his vape out the window as I was driving. He tried to open the door of the moving car to get out and look for it, and I had to grab him and pull him back in. Legally, this moron is an adult. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Vert90 11
Well, those Pringle cans are sneaky as ****. Careful for the hand-rapes.
Calyx_fml 22
It was probably worth it. You wouldn't want to waste a Pringle.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (161)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Technically you didn't "have" to, considering he's 22 years old. I would have left him there to punish him for being that stupid. I will never understand the concept of getting so drunk you don't know your own name, and then doing stupid stuff like this that can be used for future blackmail.
ganjaranja 10
Ahahaha that's hilarious, you gotta admit. Hey, look on the bright side. Atleast he's 22 xD ¡Lets have some legal fun and legalize more than rum!
iyazwoodfle 4
Or you could turn the can upside down to get the chip... NAAAH
DevaGolgotha 4
That happens to me sometimes. Except never in a drunken stupor.
theone2011 0
I'm sorry I'm not racist or anything but I would bet that this is a white family I'm just saying
reilyn 10
At least you didn't have to pick him up from the ER because he got drunk and drove.
callixto_fml 3
Ur son is ******* awesome totally made me laugh so hard i cried
linkinpark98 24
They seriously need to make the ring on the can a lot bigger. Our hands aren't going to stay the same size forever, you know!
jillybean555 5
So just a regular night?
brittersss 0
The same thing happens to me everyday...except Im not drunk...weird