Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML
Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML
Today, my very drunk mom called me to confess that she was the girl that my boyfriend left me for two years ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
That's ******* ridiculous... You're better off without the ungrateful bastard.
Eggers 2
You didn't let him sleep at your place?
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Comments (105)
oA_Fiasco 8
oh well! theres more fish in the sea
iFizzgig 11
"thanks for the help dear, now I'm done with you...you let my mom seeeeee!"
dixiefoxx 22
Wow... He sounds like a dick, all you were trying to do is help him, you're way better off without him
Jimboom 12
Should have just sucked him off.. then he would have falled asleep after and you could have saved yourself and his mother a lot of hassle.
TalkinSmack 6
Yes, reward him for being a douche... Great idea
yankfan89 27
How would him being asleep help her carry him inside?
mikeeg 0
Falled asleep? ... interesting.
DeathBunny218 37
shouldn't your username be drunkboysexgf? That does really suck but if he was serious then you'll be better off without him.
My_Nightmare 19
I had the same thought as well and my comment about it got thumbs down too. Haters
Monkeysmommy1 0
How did you think that was gonna work out?! Every guy wants a chick that will tattle to his mommy...
Daralea 21
And every chick wants a guy that can't handle his alcohol. Should have left him on the curb to get mugged.
Monkeysmommy1 0
And I assume you've never had too much to drink? Things happen. Still doesn't mean we call mommy to the rescue.
Joey44 15
Don't know about you, but I would much rather someone told my mum I was drunk than left me lying on some pavement pissed out of my mind.
Miss_Attitude96 24
Wouldn't he have gotten trouble I in
Miss_Attitude96 24
*Wouldn't he have gotten in trouble in the first place? Cuz he was drunk? -Sorry my iPod glitched & submitted my comment before I was finished. Gotta love technology! ( >:( freakin' HATE it!)
Freeze_fml 17
You're welcome to desist using technology.
CharlieS0ul 0
Lol
kkmwong 11
Saved you from a lifetime of unhappiness.
rebelsrock 17
Was he drunk when he did it? Because then he probly won't remember it
My_Nightmare 19
Technically, your username isn't accurate any longer. . .