Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that my severe body odor has no cure, no treatments, and is caused by… eating food. Not any specific food, just food. So either I can stop eating entirely, or I can smell like rotting fish in an outhouse. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML
Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML
Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
At least you finally understand now. Sad that your smell is what convinced you rather than the diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, coronary artery disease, and stroke. Now if only I could figure out a way to make bad drivers stink so they finally realise they suck at driving...
icrest80 4
Time to hit the gym...and then the showers
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (81)
CherryLipBalm 1
Reminds me of when the mother on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo showed of the crust between her neck rolls... Ew mental picture:/
the_anti_hipster 7
YDI for watching Honey Boo Boo. Ugh. The best of society, right there.
Ozuru 11
YDI, plain and simple. If you have mold growing between your fat rolls, you're unclean also.
StanSmith2013 26
Lay off the junk food and exercise!
Spazz420 7
Diet and exercise and soap and your problems will go away
91nash 2
Your are a fat slob and need to loose wait
jetsown08 21
English translation: You're a fat slob and need to lose weight.
Futacy 30
22- I'm typically not one to be a grammar Nazi, but come on! W-E-I-G-H-T and W-A-I-T are in no way related.
Missusluv313 9
#22 Go back to school, please!
pabst4america 1
You just gotta get all up in those crevices like you ain't never done it before
CFSH01 11
I think that's the issue. They really ain't done it before.
truerebel 1
I love how this is in Canada yet everyone wants to call AMERICANS fat and stupid.
jack_ripper604 0
Americans are fat and stupid though this post doesn't change that
Futacy 30
Oh crap, it's a common Jack_Ripper604. Someone please call pest control.
olpally 33
Any relation to fat-bastard by chance? Lol, oh op... Time to hit the gym and clean yourself up a bit...
PYLrulz 17
I've said it before, it's one thing to be overweight. It's something else when you are in that state. Now hit the gym, and learn how to clean yourself better.
livvittupp 0
Talk about pig!!