Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''Prudish'' to name a few. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I explained to my teenage daughter that enough was enough and she needed to start shaving her armpits again, stating it was unladylike and unsanitary. Her only response was, "If it's so unsanitary, why don't you make my brother do it?" I give up. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML
Today, I realized my sister has a yeast infection. How, you ask? Her tube of yeast infection cream and my tube of toothpaste look remarkably similar. I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. FML
Today, like everyday, I have to ignore the mould in the bathroom, cat shit stuck to the dining room floor, and dirty dishes in the kitchen courtesy of my never-cleaning sister, but today she bitched at me for being gross and unhygenic for double dipping the ice-cream tub, and everyone agreed. FML
Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML
Today, my sister was quite obviously looking down on me for not knowing the trendy sustainable hair soap in little net baggies that “everyone” uses now. Years ago, when I was already using regular hair soap instead of shampoo, she looked down on me for being a "greenie." FML
Today, I found out that the reason I gave a girl "the ick" was something she saw in my bathroom. Was it a filthy sink, a massive skid mark, or some kind of bizarre sex toy? No, I use those blue toilet cleaner tablets and apparently that means I'm a "prissy princess". FML
Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tereshay 0
uhmm wats Thrush ointment?
amymarie13 0
it's inappropriate to " have your boob out " in public or around family members. it's disgusting
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
heyitsmeyay 0
ummmm speak american please
asteroth 8
ummmmm learn to read other englishes. America isn't the only county in the world.
Squander 3
I can't believe the people saying how okay it is to randomly see intimate parts of relative's bodies. I personally would not want to see a siblings regions, [breast or genitals], I don't care if we're family or not. The only people I ever plan on seeing in teh newdz is my significant other, and my children in their pre-puberty days. Modesty...[becomes a fan]
FockinA 0
OP: hmm she must be the fun one in your family. or a hooker. either way, be glad you're not that mess.
imababeee 0
WTF how can ppl not know what thrush ointment is ? it goes on sore vaaaginas
just_laugh_along 0
"Victorian" and the OP lives in Victoria.
pothopper 0
thrush isn't an STD it's a fungal infection that occurs when the good bacteria have been whiped out of the ******!
k3penis 0
A "Victorian" is a posh person, it has nothing to do with where a person lives. In Australia, thrush is vaginal. You're all dumb.
bridgetv25 8
Ooooor thrush ointment is used to treat yeast infections of the mouth which can be caused by something nasty But can also be caused by something not nasty , give her a break! What's a lounge room? Is everyone on here from England or something? I've noticed a slight language barrier. No offense just wondering.
amiewithaj 13
Thrush is a white substance that builds up on a breast feeding moms breasts and in the baby's mouth. It's extremely painful so they give you an antibiotic cream to relieve it
sarcasticlover 30
uugh