Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I spent almost 10 minutes cleaning my glasses because everything looked blurry. The problem wasn't my glasses. I was actually wearing my sister's, who apparently got almost the same frames as mine. FML
Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML
Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML
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Top comments
alki_fml 5
its not so cute when its your teenage daughter....maybe if it was a 5 year old..
enonymous 9
My glasses are made from 100% pure cotton... shrinks every time in the wash
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Comments (245)
fairygirl88 5
Awwww that's sooo cute:)
alki_fml 5
its not so cute when its your teenage daughter....maybe if it was a 5 year old..
rawrlily 0
Idiotic daughter. Is she by any chance a blonde?
mooshibear140 4
Not so cute, really. OP's daughter isn't the brightest bulb in the box. If it were your daughter you'd feel pretty bad.
BigHoshJosh 0
why do people keep wasting first comments! there should be a rule where the first comment has to be witty or some what funny!
Juliaa15 6
if they were similar in style i could understand that. But glass is glass... Give her a break, the mistake isn't totally irrational.
Doortje 30
#30: That rule should apply to every comment, not just the first one.
cookie_3008 4
Nothing like a good old blonde moment. o_O
enonymous 9
My glasses are made from 100% pure cotton... shrinks every time in the wash
swimchica22 0
guess she's not going to Harvard...
skrillex99 0
not when the daughter is teen age...
seanders 10
If you really want to trip her out, put the glass in the freezer a while and then pour boiling water in it.
BADDiam 4
Relax ppl , cant u guys see she's a blonde
gabstahhh 8
Makin momma proud.
Carian01 0
30 - Wasting firsts comments. Wow. Sad.
ReptarRAWR23 0
Hope she has the looks to backup the smarts.
Salvikidd 6
its ok she's a blonde
salvipride_15 0
wait what does that do??
salvipride_15 0
* #87 what does that do??
rawrlily 0
Is she blond?
kai_ngo 0
Pretty much makes the glass explode, 159. At least that's what should happen.
passionpitpanda 5
shes a ******* teen
anongrl 2
31: umm, yes it is. Even if they were similar in style, it still would be the dumbest question ever.
hollers444 0
#31 it is really dumb for a teenager 2 think glass can shrink actually
liecake 0
Wow. Smart kid you have there.
OceanBreathesSal 5
I think someone is going to Harvard.
muscleglasses 0
I think the daughter is an excellent troll lol :p
unvmesucka 0
Well she is French.
whybother8 0
well maybe the hear shrinked them!
MasterE56 4
WTF?
ienjoithinqs 0
there is no way around the fact that OP's daughter is a blond :/
ReptarRAWR23 0
Must be Canadian ay?
ghostlilac 25
145 - It's "eh", not "ay". If you're going to make fun of Canada, do it right. :P (This FML is from France, btw.)
boyguydudemalema 0
chillax, the kid is probably only 13 years old.
kellysmith69 1
pretty sure a 13 year old should have more common sense.
alexg823 0
40 - She must be REALLY rich.
Belovan 2
You've got yourself a genius.
volley4eva1698 0
I wonder who she got the brains from
ImaWiseGuy 5
hahaha, I can see how this could be confusing...
ariannaimelda 7
She will do great things
eminemchick 19
well she's smart..-_-
xleanne_aLly 23
maybe she was stoned..
j_cat187 20
stoned is the way of the walk
alh303 0
wow and how old is she??? lol
j_cat187 20
i recomend you take english 071 to understand basic composition.
herroeverybody 0
shes a teenager
Bano360 25
98- A teenager isn't an age, it's an approximation between 13 and 19 ;)
ReptarRAWR23 0
Isn't it 13 18?because then legally your adult.
HannahForbesxo 13
The clue is in the title; "TEENager" so, the numbers with "teen" on the end. At least, that's my understanding of it.
shandollydorisxx 0
a teenager dumbass!
oarisimo 4
Jesus people, he probably meant specifically. quit being assholes...
staymintyfresh 13
it just doesn't really matter the age between 13 and 19 I mean she's a dumbass anywhere between those.
omfg_creepers 8
she needs to get a good education
instnt1nfction 17
well so do you
omfg_creepers 8
well excuse me sir, I find that comment very rude and would like an apology
chlorinegreen 27
get used to rude comments. there is nothing wrong with you but when you write comments, you might as well be throwing yourself to the dogs. which is why I don't write much, it gets depressing. op your daughter is an airhead. I hope she's good looking or she really would have nothing going for her.
moosemonkey1000 6
Your picture is freaking adorable.
smurfsarwales 9
oh! guinee frog *dives off screen (southpark reference)
chlorinegreen 27
haha thanks :)
MattEyre 8
I could have sworn you said "erection"...
gman90210 18
You deserve to be stalked with a name like that. And you need ro get an education as well. And grow up
nfalbear 0
She's going to be a genius
BobbieH 19
How old is she? if she's a little child then it's cute. If not, well she needs a little science tutoring.
BOOSCAREDU 0
uh in the fml it says that she's a teenager...
marinus_fml 20
Bobbie and OPs TEENAGE daughter shouldn't procreate. Society would be so ******* dumb.
BobbieH 19
I guess I should have read more closely. It's what happens when skimming to kill time.
kiffen 0
I made the same mistake and reread the post; some of us have lives and can't focus on every word of an FMLpost ;)
meggieh815 0
then get off of FML? Not knowing how to read isn't a sign of having a life. it's a sign of you sucking at life.
13kellyleigh 4
it's really not that big of a deal that he missed a word in an fml... no need to insult bobbie
explodingmuffint 0
you must be an extremely slow reader then..
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Woah woah woah.... So the dishwasher DOESN'T shrink dishes?! O_O
tencalories 3
no it shrinks dishes just not glasses
StarReis 16
aw what? it doesn't shrink glasses?!? this just ruined my day.. -_-
stoufer12 6
9,ur comment shoulda been the first.
tntvballgurl1 0
is your child mentally handicapped?
Juliaa15 6
That was uncalled for...
agSWAAAAG 0
there is a line between funny and crude, and I would say you most definitely crossed it. making fun of people with any kind of ailment, disorder, or disease that they can't help is NOT comedy.
XxHunterHavocxX 0
I don't think she was trying to insult the daughter. It's a valid question when you're not making fun of people.
agSWAAAAG 0
whether or not she was trying to be funny or just throwing that out there, it's still rude and unnecessary.
CaptinObvious467_fml 2
Here let my put that into nicer terms. Is your kid retarded?
salvipride_15 0
YOUR F####D UP.....!!!
melibear89 7
#10 f*ck off same goes for you #127. better hope none of your kids end up with a mental disorder though that will be karma biting you in ass!
cumverg 0
Bewbiez