Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML
Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML
Today, I caught my sister eating crayons. She's 19. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, my mom ate some flowers without knowing if they were safe. Turns out they are slightly poisonous and she had an upset stomach, but she will be fine. Her excuse? "I didn't know it had poison." I had to explain that's exactly why you don't eat plants you don't know are poisonous or not. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML
Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML
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Top comments
nuggetmonster 12
I guess you could say she's not the brightest crayon in the box.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Keep calm and crayon.
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Comments (124)
Storm0305 2
Have you had her evaluated for a medical condition called Pica? It can cause people to crave things that aren't food.
CheesyFan20 14
#Mystrangeaddiction
jen2807 4
Yummi!
143amandaott 10
Well she's not the brightest crayon in the box
kyim92 2
you failed miserably at raising your daughter
TrinityNevada 11
I'm wondering if she's pregnant or has some sort of unbalance in her body. Ir she's craving really weird things that aren't food, I'd be worried enough to contact a nutritionist or a therapist. there's got to be something around for her. I myself ate chalk when I was pregnant because I had such a weird craving for it. I would buy a few boxes here and there at various stores so they wouldn't think I was eating it. It's embarrassing until you realize what'swrong. I surely hope your daughter either did that on a dare or that she has an imbalance. that would only be "good" because then you'd know what was wrong.
bugfroggy 16
Funny story. About half the kids at my school don't know this yet, either. They're older than 16.
n00b4liciou5 10
Were you and your husband related before you were married?
Xotoolyxo 16
Those do smell pretty good though. But after the first bite id think she would change her mind
myeviltwin 20
If you have to tell to a 16 year old (unless they are a special needs child) not to eat crayons you have failed at parenting. That is something that should have been covered when the child was very young along with other things like, don't stick a fork in an outlet, don't put your finger in a light socket, etc.