Today, after my husband whipped my ass with a belt the night before (consensual S&M sex, not abuse), I had to go to work and sit on a hard metal chair for eight hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss slapped me on the ass and said, "Good work, princess." FML
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, I got yelled at all day at work, only to come home and get yelled at by my husband. FML
Today, I was arguing with my husband and he screamed at me to the point of tears. He asked, “Why are you crying? Last night we had rough sex where I spanked you, threw you around in bed, called you names, and you enjoyed that shit.” FML
Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML
Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I had to awkwardly explain in a conference with HR, management, and my coworkers that the occasional bruises, cuts, welts, and choke marks are from consensual BDSM sex and NOT domestic violence. FML
Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sirrubberduckie 37
For some people, that's half the fun. If that's not you, you can have him calibrate it so it doesn't hurt afterward.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hindsight is 20/20.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
sirrubberduckie 37
For some people, that's half the fun. If that's not you, you can have him calibrate it so it doesn't hurt afterward.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hindsight is 20/20.