Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
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Top comments
maph3rs 0
Jonas bros. how old is she. You sure she is legal age??
dphilipson12 0
you ******* a 7 year old?! dump her ass man!
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Comments (261)
J_A_C_87 0
Is she 12? If not, then you to move on, defo.
rosiegrewup 0
Looo-hoo-hoooooooony.
psgil916 0
oh gosh when are you 12 yr olds going to learn you shouldn't be having sex so early LOL
LynzCatastrophe 0
*points and laughs* I'm sure she's a great girl but i would have dumped her for the Jonas brothers thing. oh, and they are not pure! Of course its the height of hypocrisy to have something like a poser boyband of 3 ugly guys who can't sing and you call them pure while you are doing something dirty! You want pure? Become religious! To the man- RUN!! GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!
Kyren 1
HAHAHA. your a horny ******* idiot and you deserved it. you clearly arent dating her for intellectual bonding
Epic_Times 10
Gee Thats sucks, I hate the Jonas Brothers and i'm a Girl!!!! They are fags and think they are terrible at singing! They are just another Disney endorsed product!
metsfan31 0
not sure what's worse, them or celtic thunder all over everything, and shes 22! oh well, i still love her... just a minor annoyance...good luck dude!
budster1993 2
be lucky lucky she isn't a bieber HO those are ruthless and they only want to screw bieber
syddx73 0
hahahaha i can totally see this being me.. i'm 15 and i lovee the jonas brothers so you guys are wrongg.. thought this was amazing though, especially because i didn't even realize that i was listening to the jonas brothers as i read this lmaoo :)
tgringe 0
Have you tried dating someone your own age?