Today, I had sex with my girlfriend in her room. That means: Jonas Brothers posters on the wall, Jonas Brothers pillows, sheets, comforter and stuffed dog. After we did it, she apologized to her posters for having to see that, since they're pure. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
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Top comments
maph3rs 0
Jonas bros. how old is she. You sure she is legal age??
dphilipson12 0
you ******* a 7 year old?! dump her ass man!
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Comments (261)
ilovemusic0205 7
If she still has Jonas Brothers sheets, she's too young for you bro!
kmwilson 0
Dump her ass that's weird dude how old is she?
mercymedical 6
How old is your gf? 12?
crazy4uboi 6
Ew the jonas brothers suck, yeah your life does suck and I wouldnt know but im pretty sure it would be awkward to have sex on someones face... Just sayin...
hallix 21
Shit. This FML only has to be about another band and my boyfriend could be writing this from the future.
Swift4Life 13
Wow, theres no way in h*ll all of them are pure. FYL. But that would totally be me apologizing to my Taylor Swift posters, because she actually is pure.
MaddieMcLovin 5
Are you 100% sure she's hit puberty..
rocky1215 6
OBVUOUSLY YOUR WAY TO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX....go play with legos....
girlygirl537 2
Uhh how old is she!?
beth_ebdon 6
Erm how old is she?!