Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML
Today, I was at church with some friends and our counselor, who had recently came back from Taiwan. I was born there and love to visit, so I immediately exclaimed, "How lucky!" A few seconds of awkward silence later, he said, "I was visiting my dad who was just diagnosed with cancer." FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
It could always be worse.
ImGucci 8
He could have said "AIDS" or "******"
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Comments (99)
singer0421 32
That's better than if he yelled out ****. I mean, he may recognize the word but not understand what it means.
Ins0mau 20
It's funny how in our society, a word that means sex is considered more disturbing than a word that describes our biggest killer of people.
Chubgatti 10
Atleast he's learning!
schadenfreud 6
pretend he's astrologically inclined
Axipiter 24
Best response I've seen for this FML. Well done.
QueenMichael 16
At least you don't live in The Netherlands, where that word's a swear.
MidnaLink 35
Whoa! Seriously?
LittlestPrincess 21
Yes. And yes, it's also shocking for loads of fellow Dutchspeakers.
idiotboy 7
Hey man, I would rather have my son saying cancer than ****
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
Better than him screaming out an STD, I've got to say. GONORRHOEA!! SYPHILIS! GENITAL WARTS!
perdix 31
The funny thing is that the OP's son is 35.
thatnucca 36
Hahahaa, that could certainly be a problem...
Cadillac4427 8
it could of been worse, such as.yelling "cancer" in room full of patients going through chemotherapy. its not as horrible as you made it out to be.
dinagdotphoto 13
I think the age of your son is a very important detail you've left out, OP. Other than that, i don't think you need to worry to much. In a classroom full off college students, a young kid could've picked up words a lot worse than 'cancer'.
flashback_fml 14
You sound like a really boring professor