Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
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Comments (155)
kps18x 1
I hate colonoscopies. I'm 15 and I've had two, fml.
Someofthisisfunn 0
That's why I hate going to the dentist.
ImmaCIAhole 2
uhhhhh have you ever heard of bran dude? perhaps a prune or two???
marcyfrances 4
wow! your mean!!!
stiletto_fml 0
there's also a second opinion. )0(
sabrinaAnn 0
last year when i was 16 years old i had to get a colonoscopy for the same reasons. get ready for a lifetime of shitty problems.. literally
night_saint 5
fart!
alissa412 33
it's okay, I'm eighteen and have had three rounds of colonoscopies and endoscopies. I'm really sorry, it sucks to drink that nasty stuff :-/
livk_23 0
time to nut up or shut up. I'm fifteen and have had crohn's disease since seventh grade, I wasn't officially diagnosed until ninth grade though after three days in the hospital. The colonoscopy itself wasn't that bad because they drugged me. I actually didn't mind it because I finally got to sleep awhile instead of constantly being on the toilet. Thats the worst part. Cleaning yourself out. It's not the worse thing that can happen to you though. Be thankful you don't have colon cancer! Just think It's over before you know it! Good luck.
SICchic94 0
hey I'm 17 and I've had three colonoscopies already you'll live tough guy
kindlystfupls 0
guess it's a good thing you don't have colon cancer?