Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML
Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I see people in their 20's with hemorrhoids regularly. It isn't as uncommon as you think. When the colonoscopy gets done, make sure you bring the wine and candles. It's a very romantic occasion.
marinus_fml 20
Too bad the doctor didn't also rub the prostate. I hear it's equivalent to the females G-Spot ;)
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Comments (155)
sourgirl101 29
I would say the answer is, yes.
Stupend0us 7
Let's be honest here. This may have been a first for a hemorrhoid but this wasn't the first time you had something stuck up your ass was it?
sourgirl101 29
Are you afraid that it's going to hurt or are you afraid that it's NOT going to hurt? lol
milly_wonka 4
hope everything goes well in your next appointment OP :)
giang6710 0
what's OP?
padule 5
OP is a ******. (couldn't resist)
pinkspaceboundro 0
I clinch my butt together as I read this- on the bright side- at least your penis wasn't probed!
Phil135 4
You scare me, so ******* much.... O_o
hoopster42 0
you had to get ANALyzed, haha don't act like you didn't like it.
livk_23 0
I had my first colonoscopy when I was 14... thank you Crohn's Disease!...
beckxbecc 3
exactly!! my first was on my 14th birthday. diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, happy birthday to me! the procedure isn't the bad part, its the tons of nasty stuff you have to drink to make you shit. you could always have your colon removed, lose 5 lbs and never have to worry about colonoscopies or that nasty stuff again thats what i did. although you do get stuck with other health issues too instead....
a_nutritionist 10
...have your colon removed...? uh...? why would you undergo major surgery like having your entire colon removed because you have haemmorhoids? and im assuming since you had it done you went through major diet and lifestyle changes with a dietician, lifestyle counsellor and GP, hell even a naturopath, before attempting surgery right?
tona01 16
what do you understand by colonoscopy? i hope it's a joke, because if it isn't i will fly to wherever you are, track you down and bitchslap you so hard, you won't be able to turn to your mother ******* right side!
nerdchic 5
omg I was diagnosed with that this April... they told me the colonoscopy would be ok and I'll feel fine afterwards but I was super miserable /:
livk_23 0
i know it really sucks! :(
mel1776 0
you dont get ur colin removed with crohns cause it come back
Astroman129 7
Crohns can smd. I was diagnosed in April 2006 on my birthday when I turned 11 (I'm 16 now) and I just recently had my sixth colonoscopy.
SICchic94 0
I'm being treated for crohns disease too - getting my third colonoscopy in august:/
cruforlife 5
Fellow crohn's patients!!! I just got diagnosed in october:/ I had ulcerative colitis first though, which caused me to lose sixty pounds in like three months because of malnutrition.... I just turned 19 too, and am still getting set up with a gastroenterologist(sp?) :( it made my first semester of
suprmidgt 0
I've been there more then once. They put you in a twilight sleep and let you know not to be alarmed if you wake up during the procedure. That part never happened to me. The worst part is the day before.
PinkHorset 5
To much information..... Don't ya think....?
jellyD 1
welcome to the club. I share your pain