Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML
Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML
Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML
Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
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Top comments
randomname0151 4
Wow, that's really awful. Hope you're ok.
Kitastropheee 12
Why are you guys hitting the you deserve it button? She doesn't deserve that at all! No one does!
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Comments (146)
randomname0151 4
Wow, that's really awful. Hope you're ok.
143dav 8
A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do right? Since it was involuntary, I'm sure people will understand OP! I also pray for your well being too!
143dav 8
A women's gotta do what a women's gotta do right? Don't worry OP involuntary body actions often lead to pretty nasty things but hopefully you'll be fine :)
eggmarie 25
On top of ******** herself, ruptured cysts hurt like HELL. Hope you feel better soon, OP!
HowAreYouToday 34
It'll be an interesting thing to explain to people...
slurshies 11
what I'm wondering is how OP deserves it. there's over 100 assholes who say she deserves it. YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHEN A CYST EXPLODES!
bfsd42 20
Did those "assholes" hit a nerve? Get over it.
slurshies 11
um, obviously yes. they did hit a nerve. many actually. it's not OP's fault, what did she ever do to deserve that?
Ren_Uchiha 11
that definitely would of been awkard! Hope your okay now OP. Hopefully it wasn't too... Err.. noticeable?
alexa9510 1
More than awkward... mortifying maybe. ]:
MyaaBayyBee 6
Of course it's noticeable ...
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
That would be so mortifying... I can't even imagine being OP and having to show up to work again after this. I would seriously consider finding a new job if possible because I'd feel so awkward
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#2 Her cyst RUPTURED causing severe stomach cramps and her bowels to release at work. While she was on the phone with a customer. With coworkers all around. I think it was pretty noticeable!
DogsPaw 16
Well that's a pretty good excuse I would think...
onlychildFTW 34
My question is, a call centre not in a foreign country where you can barely understand their English??? (I know a stereotype but it's pretty damn true, most of the time)
evilplatypus 39
63 - 1) Just because you throw a question mark at the end does not make it a question. 2) What the hell does your comment have to do with the person's to which you replied?
zandalee 20
That's awful! I hope you went to the hospital! Also if you go on the pill called Dianne, it should stop your body from having/creating cysts. Good luck darl!
bnotverynice 2
Doesn't work for everyone
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#77 - That's why zandalee said "it should stop..." not "it will stop..." Of course it won't work for everyone.
mzrobinson 13
I hope you get better!
alexa9510 1
Poor OP! Get better. I hope people at your work are understanding :/
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think I just threw up a little bit.
Awsumuzzie 12
Did you rupture a tonsil?
SierraaaNicoleee 26
That would be impossible, considering the fact that I got them removed, years ago. But nice try though.(:
SierraaaNicoleee 26
I am well aware, but since mine haven't grown back, yes it is IMPOSSIBLE for ME to rupture a tonsil. Again, nice try though, very commendable effort.(:
SierraaaNicoleee 26
Well obviously I knew that, "since I know everything" apparently.
JocelynKaulitz 28
Walk away. Just don't say anything, and walk away…
MelTheGreat 23
Being a woman is no fun sometimes.
cherry72 13
Being a woman is no fun a lot of times! Sorry, but men have no idea.
heythere131630 9
AND they burn 25% more calories than us. What's up with that?
downtime 13
...This is not a common female issue...
eggmarie 25
Ruptured cysts are very common actually
momogal 22
About 18% of women are found to have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome using the Rotterdam criteria.
MerrikBarbarian 9
86- pcos is a set of symptoms, triggered by hormonal changes. Not everyone who has pcos has a lot of ovarian cysts... And not everyone with multiple ovarian cysts has pcos. That said most women will have cysts at some point. Cysts that become large enough to rupture painfully (ie over 4cm) are less common, but virtually every woman gets cysts sooner or later
Blooblibloo 4
I am happy with being a woman, but sometimes it feels like our bodies turn against ourself... Is that weird what I wrote? Anyway, I think that might be a very little part of why we have sometimes that love/hate relationship with it...
downtime 13
83, As far as I'm aware they aren't that common, but I'll have to concede the point because womens health is not my forte :)
Xythenol 6
Words cannot accurately describe how horrible that must've been.