Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML
Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show, and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half-naked. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I decided to not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nesteremily 31
Punch her back, explain later.
moophasa 19
Seriously? What a bitch
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
TheBelt 19
Take the mature way out and just say it was a misunderstanding and walk away, there's no need for there to be violence.
leogachi 15
There already was violence, but I get your point. However, self defense, in my opinion, is always okay.
TheBelt 19
True
Brandi_Faith 34
There doesn't have to be violence, but she shouldn't just say it was a misunderstanding as if she's the one apologizing. She should explain that he offered her a compliment, to which she said thank you, like any normal person would do, and if she is insecure and crazy enough to punch someone for that then she needs to get her head examined; because her boyfriend probably isn't going to tolerate that kinda crap for very long, not to mention its assault. Then op needs to tell her if she ever touches her again, then op will be going to the police and pressing charges, and her boyfriend "flirting" will be the least of her issues.
katie1243 16
Bitches these days
limegreenpoopie 31
Beat dat bitch
semih_fml 8
kick her ass!
HowlingHero 16
Some girls are way too protective. I feel bad for the guy, he must've been so embarrassed. Sorry about that OP, hopefully that bitch knows what she did was far from okay.
DanCastellaneta 17
She's just jealous. Just shrug it off.
exo_went_insane 12
"Suppose you were a woman and suppose you were crazy.. but then I repeat myself." -Mark Twain
Geckosrock99 33
So what? A compliment equates to flirting now? Really? Dumb bitch just committed assault due to her own insecurities.
ihaveasushicat 24
I'd probably press charges. That girl has some serious jealousy issues.
Smooth_Criminal 24
Just before your cue, **** punt her. She'll learn.