Today, I got to my apartment early after being out really late the night before. Maybe next time I should call ahead of time so that my roommate has time to sneak my girlfriend out of his bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I got off work early to go home and surprise my girlfriend with lunch, only to come home to her in the middle of packing up all of her stuff. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
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Top comments
Teebean 0
Man that sucks.
Xaviara 0
eeshk!! Sorry dude, well you're way better off at least you know now she's like that
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Comments (84)
LeedsFML 0
I think 18 is male
perdix 31
I am #18 and I am decidedly male. In my day, when one of our bros had a chance to be with a girl, we were cool about it and wished him well. We hoped that we would get some titillating details the next day! "Bros before hos" isn't virile, it's gay.
blastvortex 4
M'kay... So you'd rather be blissfully unaware that your supposed buddy was boning your girl? What are you, nuts?
Oregnoll 0
YDI 'cause you dont spend time with your girl, even if you have the opportunity to do so. I'd be happy if I could see my GF every day.
Chelss24 0
I love how people are missing the OP's sarcasm. I know it's the internet, but seriously kids it's not that hard to detect. #23 and #32 please re-read and actually think before posting
Gigidy 0
You should **** slap her
darkshadow_fml 0
YDI for dating a ****
btuwo 0
i see so many of these roommate stories... seriously u people need to find better roommates.. your friend, ur true friends, don't do this shit!
Mx_Rider 6
I
GreenChemicalBoy 0
This has happened to me, except that i went two weeks before i figured out who it was. High five fellow loner.