Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML
Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date. I have been playing solitaire the whole night waiting for him. Out of 15 games, I've won one. FML
Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
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Top comments
Catkam623 27
Hey sock puppets are real people too. Well not really and based off my prior logic why were you third wheeling?
gc327072 31
It ended well. They have a real close-knit relationship.
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Comments (133)
Catkam623 27
Hey sock puppets are real people too. Well not really and based off my prior logic why were you third wheeling?
Damian95 16
The nerve of some people.
rintintin19 5
seriously, OP should have answered the phone and given them some privacy...quit sock blocking, OP.
imaginaryvoice 18
Third wheeling in hopes of a threeway?
ohcheriecherie 20
Well you know about socks.
kickass1stbase 7
Did they have to put a sock on the door knob? Oh wait...
rintintin19 5
i'd love to see how that goes..
scarface90 8
If it turns into a hot date, make sure the socks use protection...you don't wanna end up with foot fungus
sens3sfailing 25
Or athletes foot
chrisjw27 18
wow.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
This comment.....so original.... so...magnificent. How did you think of such a comment? You are a true genius.
RvidxrKlvn 8
Remember #2, every comment you make needs to resemble the work of Aristotle, Platos, Socrates and other great thinker of society because that's what FML is for.
sig4life 18
OMG, LOL, WOW. Apparently #2 has a problem with complex words. Thanks for the informative comment. Now pass, because you have been token for too long. Remember it is puff puff pass.
Whaaaaaat734 6
49- You killed it...
Soloman212 28
Guys, I'm going to make a super original comment about how #2 made a super unoriginal comment! This thread needs more of that.
rintintin19 5
#33, i believe you mean sock-rates...i couldn't resist :s
ohcheriecherie 20
49, can you not?
chrisjw27 18
I think I've discovered the Internet equivalent of angry villagers at my door with torches and pitchforks...
ragini95 16
everyone hating on #2's comment - it's ****** up that all of you are being so rude about a small insignificant thing. you sound like bullies.
Whaaaaaat734 6
116- Nobodycares.jpg
kumonsucks 7
Bro you do have a life. Answer the phone next time.
SerpentBoy 8
Obviously he does not have a life, or he wouldn't be playing with sock puppets..
biggestfan23 11
It's a female by the way
XxDevilxXGt 26
Answer the phone and sock it to em!
Starcatch77 20
What if the phone call had actually been a guy who wanted to ask her out on a date? THAT'S irony.
yusaku02 20
How did their date end?
gc327072 31
It ended well. They have a real close-knit relationship.
iOceanus 18
She gets the sock on the first date.
Fuji76 15
It ended with one stiff sock and one crusty sock! Lol
Moep20 24
There is nothing wrong with sock puppets. Still I ask myself: How old are you? ^^
zandalee 20
...and how do you play with sock puppets for four hours. That is so sad.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Those damn phone calls interupting their date. F the sock puppets' life.
cheertrombonist 9
Interrupting sock puppet dates? Ain't nobody got time fo dat.
need2sleep 15
Hope you used clean socks otherwise there may never be a second date!
Bluekaren16 19
She can always wash them if they get a little dirty while performing ; )
SerpentBoy 8
Were they on a date at your place, or did you also construct a movie theater and bar for them? Oh, did the hit it off?
mangoboy1 19
The gangs all here...
eaglerob 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Do socks put out on the first date?! I don't think holie one would.
gc327072 31
Socks don't, but panty hose do! (sp?)