Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
Today, I was driving at night and saw a small animal run across the road. I slammed on my brakes and got rear-ended. The animal turned out to be a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile, I was alongside some fields. While running down the side of the road, I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car, screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
Today, while walking through my living room, I slipped and nearly fell, narrowly avoiding hitting my head against a nearby door jamb. What did I slip on, you ask? A single cat treat. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
I can just picture what the mice were thinking " Holy crap, guys, we're free! Quick, somebody find the button that opens the window so we can all escape!"
julfunky 29
We’ve had our snake’s dinner escape in the car before. It wasn’t an easy task to fetch the poor guy from under the car seat. Peering under the seat and seeing his two little eyes staring back at me terrified tore me up.
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Comments (34)
interesting33 37
Feeding live mice is illegal in the UK. I am unsure about the US.
ThrottleJockey 36
It depends on the state.
zeffra13 31
California it’s legal. I know tons of people who feed live, and reptile specialty stores have stocks of live mice for this reason. On the other hand, I also know a snake who had its tongue bitten off while trying to kill its food. Feeding pre-killed mice isn’t just about the mouse.
Llama Bobulas 9
The universe knew you where being cruel and tried to save the mices lives...
Stephanie Claire 12
The snake needs to eat too
ThrottleJockey 36
Despite all their rage they're still just rats in a cage.
novdestiny 23
Put the snake in the car, that'll take care of it :-)
dexter420 21
Only pos have a pet snake. Imagine being in a box half your size
julfunky 29
If you’re putting a snake in a cage half it’s size then you’re doing it wrong.
EnvyMe33 26
So let the snake free in your car, I’m sure the snake will take care of it or get a cat and the cat help you get them.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
One of the many reasons I preferred to feed frozen/thawed feeders Hope you found them all