Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML
Today, I found our that my crazy ex, who, after our break up, said to me, "I'm setting my life to make yours hell" has befriended my current girlfriend. FML
Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend still hangs out with her "abusive, violent, psychotic, misogynistic, manipulative" ex. I told her to block him and she pitched a mega tantrum. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, while out with my girlfriend, her stalker ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and beat the shit out of me. While I was on the ground, my girlfriend got angry at him, and went to go “talk with him in private.” She’s nowhere to be found, and hasn’t picked up her phone in four hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Blobby McGee 5
might be time to cut the new girl loose. You don't need that kind of BS drama in your life. there are other places to park it, my man
RichardPencil 32
Not a good idea. Once the ex fills in your new lady, you'll be lucky if the worst of it that your shit ends up on the lawn. Take a hotel for a week and then see if the coast is clear at home.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
Blobby McGee 5
might be time to cut the new girl loose. You don't need that kind of BS drama in your life. there are other places to park it, my man
RichardPencil 32
Not a good idea. Once the ex fills in your new lady, you'll be lucky if the worst of it that your shit ends up on the lawn. Take a hotel for a week and then see if the coast is clear at home.
poopface82 25
Yeah, time to cut her loose. Either your ex poisoned her or you really are an asshole; either way, you don’t deserve her.