Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
Today, I got rear ended. The guy flashed his lights at me to pull over, so I pulled into the side of the road. He drove away. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML
Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML
Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were, "I hope you have insurance". FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I said no that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML
Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML
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Top comments
Ancients 8
Lovely.
FPsLife 5
Silly guy, he already got to rear-end you, so what was the need to ask you out?
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Comments (105)
BenCakes 0
Let's be real op is probably ugly and that's why the guy said he would take her out.
saaaammmmm 0
Your logic makes perfect sense. Thank you, Ben-, nay, Dr. BenCakes.
MrMaelstrom 3
Got rear-ended and the other driver speaks enough english to ask for a dancing date, but insurance isn't part of his vocabulary? Get back in the car, lock the door take his license plate and call the cops. It ain't brain surgery.
MrMaelstrom 3
Got rear-ended and the other driver speaks enough english to ask for a dancing date, but insurance isn't part of his vocabulary? Get back in the car, lock the door take his license plate and call the cops. It ain't brain surgery. Bencakes, maybe she's hot and the other driver got thinking "you know, this is a great way to meet women - Hey, babe, ya dance?" :)
ipwnallmen 10
dance, my little puppet, dance!!!
mehgmehg 0
suckd
shs22basketball 0
I HATE snickerdoodles. Last time I said something so vile that I got a warning from the FML police. (losers)
shs22basketball 0
I HATE smickerdoodles, last time I said something so vile that I got warned by the FML police. (they are losers)
kozmikstarz 0
Today, I decided. That I would type. Like the biggest jackass. In the world. Using only sentence fragments. FML.
Jeni1621 0
There is no "Scary" part of either downtown minneapolis or st paul....I call shenanigans. Only scary part of Minnesota at all is North Minneapolis.
cpmerr 0
agreed downtown is not "scary" but would you want to get rear ended in downtown eat or cedar riverside after midnight with no one around? im from phillips and have had SKETCHY encounters biking at night. it can get unnerving is all i'm sayin'
Moscow_fml 0
Quieres pasear conmigo?
jyd62 0
great deal for him since he's at fault lol!!
Ceridwen_fml 0
I'm tempted to believe this, since when I was in my first ever (and hopefully last) car accident in Los Angeles, my hot friend was actually hit on by the fugly cops who arrived on scene. Humans are humans, even cops/bad drivers.