Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
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Top comments
BreadstickFTW 7
Next time tell him to shutup before all the stupid comes out.
Palirose 22
I'm sorry, OP. Maybe next time try not to speed or go over the limit. Just pay your ticket before it gets higher.
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Comments (95)
droln4maltesers 8
FML for having a stupid husband, YDI for speeding!
mcrfan45 10
Your husband seems lovely..
dreadbeat69 12
Oh, a joke about cops liking donuts. Your husband sounds really... clever... YDI for marrying such an idiot.
kyim92 2
husband's a G
rickAUS 22
I hate it when other people in the vehicle start mouthing off at cops because the cop takes it out on the driver almost every time and the idiots who caused it tend to get off with nothing. Twice I have had idiots turn a routine traffic stop into a 60 minute interrogation while the cops scrutinised every aspect of my vehicle because they couldn't keep their mouth shut and let things run their course. It is no surprise that I no longer associate with any of those people now.
DanielleinDC 34
Wow, your husband is an idiot. I hope you told him that had he not opened his big fat idiotic mouth you probably wouldn't have gotten the ticket. If you have separate accounts, he can pay the damn ticket. And then you remind him of rule number 1: Shut the **** up if you get pulled over by a cop. But slow down a bit next time, huh, OP?
Zeus1070 17
Slap the **** outta him with the ticket.
sithlordnergal 5
I'm going to have to say YDI for speeding in the first place. =/ If you didn't want the ticket, don't speed. I also say well done to your husband for inadvertently making sure you got the ticket you deserved for speeding. And as for the officer, I'm rather annoyed that he was going to let you get out of a ticket you rightly deserved. Also, #57, my mother happened to be born in Baltimore and have family there, so we visit it. I've driven there, and so has she, and yet both of us seem to be able to drive the speed limit.
The_FML_Life 7
You married an idiot
moonzombie 13
This reminds me of the time when I was in the car with my dad and he got pulled over by some motorcycle cop who was just a dick overall. While the cop was writing the ticket, my dad asked if they had senior citizen discounts. The cop wasn't amused, and my mom looked at him like he was crazy. But hey, he didn't have much to lose at that point. :P