Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time." He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML
Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat, "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML
Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I tried to make a joke to ease the tension and said, "I’m just trying to keep up with the traffic!" The officer looked around at the empty road and said, "What traffic? Are you under the influence? HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" It went downhill from there. FML
Today, I was on the way to traffic court for a $340 speeding ticket I'd got. My mother called me and I wasn't paying attention which caused me to speed. Right past a cop. When I told the cop where I was going, he started laughing at me. I now have another $300 ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML
Today, being the new driver I am, I was trying to keep my speed at posted because I know that cops will target me. I ended up getting pulled over for my too-low speed and given a ticket because I was holding up a line of cars. FML
Today, I was going 73 in a 55 on a country road when an oncoming cop passed me. He pulled a U turn. I turned off the main road and took random turns. I got lost, was 30 minutes late to work, and the cop still found me and gave me two tickets. I had to ask him for directions. FML
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Top comments
sxe_beast 11
Were you driving a DeLorean?
llCHR15ll 0
you didn't engage the flux capacitor. hopefully you will learn from this crucial mistake.
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Comments (283)
seligman103 0
u completely deserved... how is that an FML even?? all ur fault...
ndiggidy 0
If you can make a cop laugh, you're saved. Apparently cops don't like sarcasm
happysmartg 5
dont be a douche and give him sarcasm. you deserved it all the way ********. its your fault.
KayleeFrye 39
OP- your joke was funny as hell, you have a great sense of humor. You still deserve the ticket, though.
mattsan1992 0
I feel your pain. I myself am a car lover and typically drive 40+ over the speed limit and have learned that if you can make a cop laugh you have a chance. I admire your attempt
nerwende_fml 0
That really was a nice try. Had I been that cop, I assure you it would have worked. Too bad this one didn't have a sense of humor.
ash99 0
I don't understand
Namenlos_fml 20
Nice try
diluted_fml 0
haha best FML ever if I was the cop I would of had to let you go with no ticket
srgsk9 9
And your nerdy '80's movie reference was gonna get you out of it how?