Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. When my soon-to-be-husband was saying his vows, he didn't say my name. He said his mother's. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I was working as a caterer at a wedding when I congratulated the bride’s mom, saying, "You must be so proud of your daughter!" She responded, "I’m the bride." FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML
Today, I got married to my girlfriend of three years. Her mother's Alzheimer's came into play at the wedding when she asked who I was. My bride-to-be couldn't stop crying. FML
Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML
Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML
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Top comments
Namenlos_fml 20
Wow.... your mother is a self-centered ****
allmidnighteyes 11
What the hell? Your mother claims to have bioluminescent properties?
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Comments (172)
WorkThatButt 2
I would have pinned her to the floor, sit on her face, and fart.
Flutist 3
Your joke iz so gay Clay Aiken is going to marry it.
Flutist 3
Sorry? I know she is your mother and that whole "respect your parents thing" but it is your day. You can have her walked out of the room. All you say is "this is my day you don't have to be here if you can't respect that." Its like with children, no one respects you if you back down all the time.
Lenicka 0
You should tell here that it is your day to shine.
SUSAltd 0
YO MOMMA IS SO FAT THAT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT.
KurouTenshi 0
wait, if your mother is the mother of the bride does that mean you married your sister???
Crysta_fml 3
No it means that the OP is a woman, as it clearly states!
dpsceo 0
**** rag mother. is her name Cynthia ?
cmac86 24
better watch out on your honeymoon and make sure she isn't trying to sleep with your husband.
Scourge87 0
Oh that made me lol for real. Quite a self-absorbed mother huh ? If I was the groom I'd be ghasted at the thought of having such a mother-in-law.
Rimaa_fml 0
Your mom is a bitch just like mine. I hope she didn't ruin the wedding too bad. So sorry to here that.