Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Must've made a mini-fridge joke too, eh?
kickazz16 15
Run* major typoooo
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Comments (155)
shortstuffs23 7
Short people don't like to be stared at because of their height... -_-
sklorange 5
Oh, the dangers of reading...
reddawn85 8
Being little doesn't give you a license to be an asshole.
nebula748 14
Are you sure? I'm 5'8" and I received a license to be annoyed most of the time.
SnowFlakeInAK 7
Sounds like he had "Little Mans Complex" Hehehe
marinus_fml 20
More commonly referred to as little man syndrome.
Slim2306 10
or napoleon's complex
SteelCladAngel 0
Funny thing is napoleon was average height or a bit taller than average for those days
Hamcons 1
If he wants to act like a big boy...knock his ass out like a big boy!
perdix 31
He probably didn't appreciate it that, as you went to read the price tag, you set your beer down on his head.
mattdm91 0
Someone has a short fuse
dreamkayy 0
or its possible that someone had mistaken him for a garden gnome earlier that day and you were just the straw that broke the camels back. . .
thehoneybadger 10
"Midget" is actually considered a derogatory word, OP.
thehoneybadger 10
Also, unless you actually have dwarfism, then arguing "omgz but calling them little people is so much more demeaning!" won't cut it, because you don't know what it's like having people joke about drop-kicking "midgets". And no, I don't have dwarfism, but I also don't make cruel jokes about people who do.
leadman1989 16
Because people can't make cruel jokes about dwarves? Several come to mind and most involve lord of the rings one with snow white.
twisted54 1
Well good...:)
badactor009 0
WTF, over? "I am a midget so the rules don't apply to me." Midget needs a good old fashioned beat down. Based on this post, I am going after the next midget I see. Probably has it coming to him/her. Besides, I am sick and tired of them getting all the singing roles in the Wizard of Oz, as if they are entitled to it.
leadman1989 16
You might want to take a chill pill. Midgets are known to travel in packs you might get swarmed.
lorialt 0
"Wtf-over". I only knew one person who used that phrase. I wish he were still around to use it. Reading it here brought back nice memories, thank you. ;)
badactor009 0
I double dog dare any swarm of misfit midgits out there to F with me. Cheap shot junk punchers are going down hard.