Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Must've made a mini-fridge joke too, eh?
kickazz16 15
Run* major typoooo
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Comments (155)
azcardinals1307 2
well, he sure as hell doesn't deserve special treatment. treat him as you would a normal person.
je_suis_fml 11
Wait, isn't he "normal"?
vadim14 3
damn somebody beat me to it. he probably just had a short fuse
krushr 3
The great thing about midgets is that they can be drop-kicked.
CareFace 16
"Don't get short with me!"
bubblekitty 1
Maybe he tried to punch somewhere else but his size didn't allow him to reach higher
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Midget's thoughts: If I can't punch him in that head, I'll just punch him in the other.
ciarafox9 9
Sorry he was a little short with you, but u have to be the bigger person here!
ShyAnn29 15
Midget is an insult to them!
vadim14 3
it's ok they don't count as real people
ShyAnn29 15
And why would you say that!? Of course they count as real people!!
lizzieislovely 11
I keep seeing this Midget argument. That Midget is an insulting term and that we should call them "little people." I'm sorry, but personally i find "little people" FAR more insulting not to mention patronising.
StoryOfTheYear 15
People insult other people for looking different? Christ. What have I been missing?
ShyAnn29 15
I don't like the term little people either!
lysx84 24
I thought "dwarf" was the correct term, given that the condition is called "dwarfism"?
EnEl_Infierno 15
Just call them, Gnomes, they should be happy with that, their gona take over the world soon you know.
tjamurphy 5
I'd be more offended if someone punched me in the nuts!
off_constantly 8
Herp derp?
GlitteryMasakali 1
25 - why don't you, um, get a haircut?
MYkumquatsOWN 1
well did you at least apologize?
dreamkayy 0
im assuming this midget was see-through since you insisted on looking at a price tag he was standing infront of?