Lifeless
United States
Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Australia
Cute couple
Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML
Username
United States
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
CheeseMonsters
United Kingdom
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
anonamous
United States
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Kelsiiii
Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo
Today, I pretended to be dead in front of my dog to see what he would do. He started to hump me, and when I tried to get up, he growled at me until I got back down on the ground to wait until he was finished. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tucson, United States
Doggy dog world
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
aXel
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
chris
United States
Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
It could have been worse, you could have lost and cried...
perdix 31
I'll bet you cheated and blew into his nose to make him blink.
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Comments (111)
traze 7
A victory is a victory **** that, you show him who's boss.
eftup 9
dogs rule
example947 0
could have been worse, your entire house could gave exploded
CoconutMuffin 5
15, you couldn't be more correct! In fact, that is what would've happend if OP didin't stare at the dog. Nice thinking OP!
throwglitter1 0
get a life.. at least have a staring contest with a human.
cymruambyth 0
he obviously beat the humans that challenged him so he moved onto a different species and so would I
cymruambyth 0
he obviously beat the humans that challenged him so he moved onto a different species and so would I
austinkiser 3
********** i see.. :)
GuidoCheese 0
Haha I do that too; it shows that you're master.
wisericky 12
you must be ugly and the dog couldnt stand to look at you. :P
CoconutMuffin 5
Or hey, maybe, and this isin't rock solid, the dog was either distracted or didin't care, like that of a normal dog! But what do I know! OP has to be ugly, right?
khaya 9
That's sad that you had to kill your dog to win. And then you post your dog killing conquests under lifeless. You disgust me.
Unlucky_Gun 0
I hope your kidding. If you aren't then your DUMB. The way you think and your Fd up head disgust me. Get your brain checked out
cymruambyth 0
I was in a staring contest with my friends sponge. I did the same when I won
HyundaiOwner7 0
Was it Spongebob? If it was, I guarantee you're lying and you lost.
florenzfang 0
He probably meant sponge sponge
cymruambyth 0
nope it was a sponge called Geoffrey
florenzfang 0
meh. u name your sponge?
cymruambyth 0
no it was my mate's he just asked me to have a staring contest with it
DatWhiteGuy 0
Oh man. I thought your dog would win. Nice match!
guitar0501 0
You didn't even win. Dogs don't look at more dominant people in the eyes, they turn away after a few seconds.
cymruambyth 0
not if you have food with you